This is the thing I’m learning, if God has called me here to this place for whatever reason, that is most important. I began to  think God called me there as I was, so if I change to belong, will God be able to use me? I’m not saying that I won’t change as I grow in my faith there but the person, I am should not be denied in order to be a part. My outward expression of my gratitude to Jesus for his faithfulness has been denied so many times by my own choice. It was hard to admit this. What I discovered as I’ve been researching this is,  the church did not ask me to change.  I changed off of wrong assumptions of what I thought was considered appropriate there. My perception of what they would accept was found in what I didn’t see happening. I assumed because I didn’t see others doing it, that it was not welcomed. I allowed my personal assumptions to cause a struggle in my heart about whether it or I would be rejected if I did it. I was unknowingly putting myself in a place of bondage again.  I found myself feeling bound because of scenarios that I created in my mind that were really not true. Fear of anything can cripple you and keep you stagnant. You will find yourself stuck. I’ve felt stuck lately, stuck in religious rituals that I thought were necessary to do if I claim Christ as my savior (a blog on that coming one-day).

So, oftentimes we allow the environment to put unnecessary pressure on us that is really not true. Nobody was pressuring me to change but me. I was believing the lie that I could not belong as I was. Yes, my worship might make some uncomfortable but, that’s not mine to carry. God created me to worship him. God never said it needed to look or sound a certain way; he just created us for it. I’ve learned that worship comes from our place of gratitude for who God is to us individually. I’ve also learned that who God is to us has been established in the things he has done for us. When he provides, he becomes provider. When God heals, he becomes healer, when he makes a way for us, he becomes a way maker. So, we then worship God out of who he IS to us. So, it’s a deeply personal thing, it has little to do with the faith community you’re in. I was making it about the faith community and multiculturalism, when it truly was about me.

      This is a beautiful image of what the church can look like. Multiculturalism goes far beyond a look though. It reaches far beyond the sprinkle of different races in the church band, in leadership and  on our worship team. You can safely check the box for looking multicultural if you have this in your church. I’ve discovered that it goes even further than allowing people of different races to have a voice in your church. It goes beyond inviting in different speakers of different races or cultures. It’s a nice added thing but it is not multiculturalism. I believe multiculturalism begins in our hearts and minds. I think we are quick to avoid the uncomfortable conversations with others in our faith communities that are of a different race or nationality. I believe that  it is in those conversations  where multiculturalism in our faith communities can begin. We have to be of the belief that all races belong, all races are included, all races are welcomed and not just races but cultures and different nationalities. I can go deeper, we must believe that all people, from all walks of life can come and belong. Multiculturalism happens when no one in our faith communities have to deny parts of themselves to belong. Multiculturalism happens when no race dominates the services but all races and cultures and people are a part from beginning to the end. It will never be perfect but it is the plan of God.

I’ve wrestled in my church with finding my place. I’ve felt like I belong one Sunday and one wrong perception of a look or stare in that moment felt like I didn’t. In my heart I’ve played the race card, even if I didn’t say it, I thought the look was because I was black, they were white and they didn’t want me there. I’m writing this and I’m laying it all out for you, not holding anything back. Multiculturalism can only be possible in faith communities if all parties believe that we belong regardless of race, nationality, culture, male, female or background. You have a seat at the table. There is no person around the table more important than Jesus. Jesus has called us to love no excuses and love does not exclude but it most definitely includes all people.We must work through our own thoughts and feelings surrounding it. I’m working through mine and though parts of me say just forget it. Stop spinning your wheels, you will never truly belong but those are lies, lies and more lies! As I write this closing, I believe more than anything that, it is worth the fight to have.

Thank you for being here. I’m honored that you would read anything that I would write💚. There might be another part of this at some point. I just feel like, there are other parts that I need to share. I pray that if you have struggled with this in any area that God would give you clarity and peace. I pray that you will rest in his truth about you. You belong, you matter and you are needed, right where you are.