strength – Uplift

If I Can Be Honest

I’ve always committed myself from day 1 in this space that I would share my honest struggles as well as victories. I just want you to know that your not alone in your struggles. I had something totally different to write about this time but then this came up. Sometimes I want to wait till I’ve gained victory over particular areas before I share the struggle. I think sometimes we need to share the real, raw intimate details of the struggle right while we’re in it. I’ve been on Instagram a few years now but something I’ve never admitted to is the struggle for others to like my post and especially those who I consider to be friends. I felt like when people hit the like button that it was a form of support. I kind of felt like when they liked it that they believed in me. I’ve just recently been honest with myself about my feelings surrounding this. I’ve been exploring why it was making me feel this way. Personally I feel there is a deeper reason behind our strong feelings concerning certain things. I also believe that those feelings should be explored. . I tend to avoid exploring things that I feel will lead to digging deeper than where I’m ready to go. I finally got brave enough to go there. I want to share something very personal but if sharing it helps anyone it’s worth it.

I realized recently that I’ve been in a real battle with loneliness. Some parts of social media was feeding that feeling. I would look at smiling people with their friends, love ones and my heart felt an ache in it. I saw people in photos doing real life in church community and my heart longed for it. Sometimes I found myself scrolling images of people I know and worship with each Sunday doing life in community and I allowed the lie I was believing to be driven deeper into my heart. Those images were proof that I did not belong, which was the other lie I was believing. I had allowed those lies to some how become attached to my interactions on Instagram. If I sent a Instagram message that people didn’t respond to, I felt rejected. I had no idea because I had experienced so much rejection as a little girl that I had the belief that things that were not even rejection was. Instagram became a unsafe place for me. Honestly Instagram really wasn’t unsafe but because of my struggles and the additional emotional struggle I allowed it to become, it was unsafe for me. I didn’t need anything to add to those feelings. So, I’m on this journey of letting Instagram be what it was created to be. Instagram is a place to keep up with friends and love ones, it’s a place to meet new people, it’s a place you can use as a tool to encourage others. The thing I forgot was that my life is not on Instagram. My life is right in front of me. Even if nobody likes one image, or comment on any post the one who created me loves me unconditional. Those likes don’t add any value to the beauty of who I am, nor can they take any away. The only reason it was causing me not to feel valued was that I was attaching my value to the likes on a post. Now my value is attached to Jesus, the one that created me. I’m so grateful that on or off social media God is always with me. God is faithful and true. I belong to him and he belongs to me. I recently started something that helps me so much with Instagram, keep reading to find out what it is💚.

I knew that I had to make some changes. I knew that I needed boundaries around my time and interactions on social media. I let myself really look at what Instagram had become in my life. I had found myself reaching for it before my bible in the early morning light. I was desperate to see how many likes or comments my post had gotten. I wanted to see if there was a response to my insta message. I knew my desire for Instagram was not in line with God’s desire for me. Before I could let God do a work in my heart surrounding this unhealthy desire I first had to admit that there was work that needed to be done. I surrendered all of it to Jesus. I began to take Instagram off my phone during the week and only using it on the weekend with limited time. The more I practice this new strategy the more I feel freed up to spend time with the one who created me. Many of us will not admit to our addiction to social media. Some of us are addicted and we don’t even know it. We know we feel like we have to log in and we can’t seem to fight the desire to do it till we do it. In my research I found this statement in a article I read that explained what’s happening better than I ever could. The statement is,
“Social media platforms drive surges of dopamine to the brain to keep consumers coming back over and over again. The shares, likes and comments on these platforms trigger the brain’s reward center, resulting in a high similar to the one people feel when gambling or using drugs.”. So we are really struggling with an addiction. It causes anxiety, low self esteem, isolation and decrease in physical activity. Just reading these things from the article made me realize if I continue on social media as I was, I would continue to feel like I was. I had to make a choice and my choice was freedom. I knew my freedom was only going to come from submerging every fiber of my being to Jesus. I needed to choose him first and always. I have seen such a difference over the last few weeks of doing this. I plan to increase my time away this summer to live life more present and in my heavenly father’s presence.

If you are struggling with an addiction to social media on any platform, I want to encourage you to surrender that addiction to Jesus and let him break you free. You don’t have to have an unhealthy addiction to social media, you can be free of it. The first step is admitting to the addiction. As you are honest with yourself, it gives you the courage to let Jesus in to those places that need to be free. Social media will never be able to fill the void in your life, only Jesus can. I am praying for you and walking this journey with you. You are not alone, God sees you and he wants to help, please let him.

Ending Therapy

The beginning of therapy can be as beautiful as this flower. As I look at this flower I think about the seed it use to be, I consider how it must have felt being buried in the cold dark earth where no one could see it. I also think of the process it went through to begin growing in the earth before anyone ever got to see it push through the dark and begin to grow above the dirt. This is how I honestly see therapy. For me, I felt as if I was a small seed with past trauma which was largely affecting my ability to live mentally healthy. I did not even know that within the seed was the flower, it just needed to go through the process to become it. I enter therapy and the therapist steps into the cold dark earth where my pass thought it planted my future. No one really sees at first the process that happens in the earth, which , if you will, is similar to the process I went through in her office. In the earth or dirt of the earth where seeds are planted lies nutrients needed for healthy growth. The flower also needs water. Those within my circle gave me water to grow by encouraging me to keep going to therapy, by telling me how excited they were that I was doing the work in therapy. This caused me to work harder to become well.

I saw this quote and I thought it seemed appropriate to add here. I think because therapist do become someone for clients it becomes difficult to let it go. Honestly not only is it difficult for us, it can be difficult for therapist to let go. How do you not build a closeness with someone that shared the most intimate details of their lives. Often sharing secrets they have never told to anyone. I can only imagine the load that therapist carry. I can only imagine the boundaries it takes to shut it off. Shut out the pain that was released in their office,to shut off the stories that were released and their ears had to hear. The beauty they get to see is when you are ready to let go. To see you move forward using the tools that they poured into you. Tools that will carry you long after you end therapy. I continuously remind myself that God is always with me. God walked with me before therapy, during therapy and even now. Ending Therapy is beautiful and sometimes messy. It’s a funny kind of joy and ache. It feels good to be well, yet scary to be well enough to journey forward without your safe place. You have got this, I have got this, we have got this. Spread your wings and soar beautiful soul. You have God with you. You have the tools you have been taught in therapy and you are so much stronger now.

Lord Jesus I thank you for therapist who help us to live mentally well. I thank you for the wisdom that they have inside us. I thank you for the journey to healing that you walk with us through. I thank you for those beginning therapy that they will find strength, courage, healing and the will to keep going. I pray for those ending Therapy that they will know you are always with them. In Jesus name. Amen

The Longing For A Dad

I’m going to warn you ahead of time that this will be a tough post to read. It will probably be one of the hardest post I will ever write. I want to challenge you to stay here with me. I have found so much healing here in this space through writing. I write from my heart in hopes that it will shine a light into your heart. I’m hoping in my post that you will find the courage to step into the light. Stepping into the light simply means, stepping into the truth. There is light in the truth. There is power in the light of the truth. I am going to share a longing that I’ve had the greater part of my life with you. Writing this post already feels uncomfortable, it feels like I’m being gutted the way we do fish in the cleaning process. I’m going to share my deep ache for a dad. Some of this may be triggering, so please be gentle with yourself. Please know that it’s okay if you need to skip this post until you are ready.

From the earliest time that I can remember my dad was always a man that worked. He went to work no matter the circumstances or weather, he did not miss work. My dad made sure the bills were paid. He loved to cook big dinners and have others brag about how good the food tasted. He was in the home, he provided but I spent my life wondering if he hated me. My dad never used the words he loved me but as I’ve gotten older and matured, I don’t think he knew how. It’s one thing to have a dad who is physically absent, but to have a dad in the home but feel as if he is physically and emotionally absent is a different kind of beast. I think I could deal differently if he wasn’t there. I know my expectations of him would probably be different. I spent my entire childhood dreaming of a father that my dad could never be. I finally realized that it wasn’t because of me, but he just did not have the capacity to give to me what he never received. Honestly my father was a angry child that grew into a angry adult and raised children with all of that anger. I oftentimes wonder what was that thing that made him such a angry person. I wonder what happened in his childhood that he buried and let bitter and anger grow in that space where healing should have taken place. Honestly all I ever wanted to be was daddy’s little girl. I wanted him to see me, I mean like really see me, the little girl that desperately needed him.

This little girl in the picture above is me. When I look at her, my heart aches for her and the mental abuse she lived through. I can remember still to this day, incidents that happened at my father’s hands that should have destroyed me inside. There were times it felt as if it did. My dad was a yeller and a cusser. I remember him calling me and fear would course through my veins. The fear I lived in at my childhood home became anxiety in my adult life. From my earliest memory, I was called all kinds of degrading and derogatory names. The names were names I didn’t even understand the meaning of but yet I felt shame. I didn’t understand that what I was feeling was shame but it was. I was ashame because even as a little girl, I felt that those words were bad. Even as a child, I felt like I was a bad girl. Why would my own father call me names like that unless I was really bad inside. So, I set out on a mission to make myself good inside so that I could finally be worthy of his love.

I look at her and I remember how much I wanted to get the attention of my father. I wanted him to cheer me on when I reached a milestone in my development. I needed him to give me words of affirmation that validated me inside. I spent a lot of years trying to get out of him what I thought I deserved as his daughter. Honestly I thought all little girls deserved to feel safe with their fathers. I thought all little girls deserved affirmations from their fathers. After he died about 3 years ago I realized that a father is not made just because he got a woman pregnant and she gave birth to his child. A father is made by the care he gives to his children. The gift of having a dad in your life is so precious. The way a dad treats his daughter will in some cases help decide the type man she will marry. As a child growing up, I remember reminding myself often, to never marry a man like my father. I did not want my kids growing up in the fear, hatred and anger I grew up in. I’ve wasted a lot of head space trying to figure out why he was the way he was. I have wasted a lot of mental headspace trying to figure out why I couldn’t be the child he loved. The truth is, he loved me the best he could. I truly believe that the way we are loved as a child can sometimes hinder us from loving well as adults if we allow it. I love deeply but with reservations. I love but still struggle with loving completely. Thank God for how he continues to heal my heart.

The picture above is me today. I married an amazing man and he is a wonderful father to our children. I feel like as I’ve watched him father our children, it has healed places in my heart that I thought would never heal. Do I still struggle with not having a good father? Yes their are moments still that I long for that relationship with my father who is no longer here with me. As a matter of fact a few years ago when he died, I remember thinking…all hopes of having a relationship with him died. I think I grieved more for what could never be than for my father. I had to make peace with those dreams of the father I still hoped he could be. I remember sitting at his service and I did not shed one tear. I felt so guilty but I felt nothing on that day. It was just recently that I actually really let myself cry and be sad. I’m still sorting through all of my feelings and strong emotions surrounding his death. The one thing I know is that Jesus will be our father if we let him. I know that we never have to prove our value to him. I’m his daughter who he loves even before he placed me in my mother’s womb. If you are reading this and you are struggling with daddy issues, please know you are still so loved. You are desperately wanted by our heavenly father Jesus. He sees you and he knows the deep ache in your heart to be in relationship with your father. Jesus deepest desire is to be in relationship with you. Jesus desires to hear about your day. Jesus desires to comfort you when your hurting. You do not have to earn his love, it just is. Today may you know the deep, deep love of your heavenly father. May you feel it in those places you are hurting. You my friend can stop striving for his love and begin to thrive in his love.

Heavenly father I pray for the one reading this that might be hurting from daddy issues. God I ask that you would heal their heart. I pray that your love would flood their very being. In Jesus name. Amen

Unconditional

In this post I want to share with you about the word unconditional. When you hear the word, take a moment and think about what it truly means to you. What are the first thoughts that come to your mind. Are there memories attached to what the meaning of that word is to you. Maybe you think about significant people in your life that you believe love you unconditionally. As I was studying and preparing to write this post I did some research on this word and one of the definitions I found was,”Not subject to any conditions”. This is the kind of love we all long for. This is the kind of love we all thrive in. It means we’re safe to be who we are. It means that we are loved and we never have to earn it. It means we can rest in this love. This love is not bargaining with us. We don’t have to perform for it. It just is. This love surrounds us and fills our hearts to overflowing. This is the love that carried Jesus to the cross. Jesus has no regrets about loving us. He definitely is not sitting in heaven thinking, “Look at them, I wish I didn’t love them as much as I do”. I truly believe he looks at us and no matter where we are, he longs for us to experience the in-depth overwhelming beauty and strength found in his unconditional love.

This image may be difficult for you to look at. I completely understand the deep desire to turn away. You might actually feel a little angry at me for sharing it. You might even disagree but I started this blog to share what is true to me. This is unconditional love in a picture. It’s a image created by human hands based upon scripture and the suffering of Jesus on the cross. Oftentimes this image has been used along with others to manipulate others coming to Jesus. I want you to look at this image and behold his unconditional love for you. I want you to behold his sacrifice for your freedom. That means you do not have to live in bondage to anything. Jesus did not die to impress you. Jesus did not die to manipulate you but he died to offer you unconditional love. Did you know that you and every human that ever existed was the joy that was set before him as he endured the cross. I believe that Jesus stayed on the cross because our life was that important to him. I believe our creation mattered that much to him.

It was his love that was the driving force behind his unconditional sacrifice. I cannot think of any greater love than this. The beauty of this love is, you did not do anything to earn it and you cannot do anything to stop it. The love of Jesus reaches us no matter the place, no matter the person, no matter the circumstances or situation, the love of Jesus still reaches us. The thing is though, it is there but you have to allow yourself to let it in. When we have been hurt we tend to struggle with letting ourselves experience the fullness of Jesus love for us. When we have lived a life that we feel ashamed of, we struggle with believing that Jesus or anyone else could truly love us. See, that’s the thing, his love has no conditions. There are no auditions to receive his love. The love of Jesus just is. I’m so grateful he is not looking at all of our sins or looking at all the countless times we have rejected his love, none of that matters to him. Jesus just wants to love you into a real relationship with him. I’m thinking about when I first began to date my husband, the more I talked to him, the more I got to know him, the more I loved him. The more I spent time with him, the more time I wanted to spend with him. The more we fell in love with one another, the more we realized that we wanted to spend our lives together and that led to the covenant of marriage. This is exactly how it feels with the love of Jesus. Will you step into his love this Resurrection season?

So, in my closing I want to share with you how I came to believe in his love for me. I struggled with believing Jesus truly loved me for the greater part of my younger life. I thought that things that happened to me beyond my control left a stain on me. I thought all Jesus saw when he looked at me was that dirty stain and he moved me into the category of people he could no longer love. I thought if I went to church enough, read my Bible enough and did all the right things that I could finally feel his love. Over 20 years ago, I got to go to a huge women’s conference. Everything that happened that weekend was so Jesus could finally help me understand that he has always loved me. From every song and every word spoken that weekend it felt like all the lies about his love for me began to wash away. Even a hotel situation where we had booked rooms and they upgraded us to another hotel that was a five star hotel. I felt like a princess and all along Jesus was in the background pulling all the strings to help me step into his unconditional love. I had been living for Jesus but not living through Jesus. I walked down the isle and gave him my heart but I would not allow his love in because I had believed the lie that I was stained. That night we went to a play and I cried all throughout that play. I had been crying all day as I began to realize Jesus always loved me. I was created because of his love. I remember leaving that play with all those people and I stepped outside and it was raining. As we waited for them to bring the van for us, I began to lift my hands in worship. On that night his love overwhelmed me. I stepped into the rain and began to just rejoice, it didn’t feel like rain, it felt like showers of his love pouring over me. The love I felt that night, I have experienced over and over. I finally stopped believing the lie and started embracing the truth of his love for me. I’ve never struggled with his love for me again. Now the devil has tried to bring it up and tried telling me those lies again and because of the overwhelming love of Jesus I’ve put those lies right back on him💚.

Maybe you have been believing lies about the love of Jesus for you. Maybe you have done things that you feel have separated you from the love of Jesus. I want you to know anything telling you that you don’t deserve his love is a LIAR. Not only are you deserving of his love, you are worthy of his love. This Holiday season, I pray that you experience his love in such a way that you never doubt it again. I pray that his love tares down every wall, every boundary, every lie and it runs into your heart like a huge wave from the sea. I pray he gushes his love all over your life, washing away every mistake and all the regrets. I pray you finally stop fighting his love and just let go. Let him love you dear heart. Let him love you into relationship with him. I’m praying for you. Happy Resurrection Weekend.

Father I pray for the one reading this blog that they will be overwhelmed as they step into a real love relationship with you. Father we thank you for what you did on the cross for us. We thank you for loving us even when we struggle with loving ourselves. God help us to know your love and to shower others with your love. Amen

Women Who Have Impacted My Life

I’ve almost made it to the end. I did not think I could stay focused and keep it going till the very end. As soon as I discovered we would be celebrating women’s History all month long, I decided to honor the women that have been a strategic part of my history and made such an impact on my future. I wanted you to see that age, race, cultural differences nor beliefs should stop us as women from supporting one another. I don’t necessarily have to look like you for you to encourage me. I want to encourage you, when you see women posting accomplishments or struggles be the first one to like or write an encouraging message under the post. It doesn’t matter if you know them there is nothing wrong with supporting them. Honestly, you might just find a sister from another mother😉😁. So let’s keep going, I’m almost done.

So, let me start with this beautiful soul right here, Tabea Oppliger. I am not sure completely how we connected on Instagram but my heart is glad we did. This woman has been a gift to my life. I met her almost 5 years ago. The big thing is, her and her family runs a ministry is what I call it all the way in Israel. I love her heart to bring the broken to Jesus through his love that flows through her. I can say, she loves hard, she sees the ones that most would push to the side, step over or even walk right by. This woman not only sees them but she lets them know that God sees them too. I love her heart for God’s people. The name of their business/ministry is Kite Pride. Tabea along with her husband employ people who are coming out of the sex trade industry. They teach them a trade and they provide a safe space for them to heal. Tabea is such an amazing woman who makes you feel so special. I’ve never chatted and felt less than, each time I’ve been inspired, encouraged and loved on. Honestly though many miles, flights, oceans, hills and valleys sperate us, God still bought our hearts together. Tabea has impacted my life by seeing me, I mean really seeing me. I’ve been reminded of the beauty of me. I’m indeed better having known her. I will be eternally grateful for the beautiful gift that she is to me.

So, I’m so moved to tears sharing with you this gift to my life in the form of Libby Patton. There are so many things I can say about her and her love for people. I know her desire is to see others walk in complete freedom and healing. I met her many years ago when I was on Facebook. We have stayed in contact, checking in with each other and more than anything praying for each other down through the years. We had never met in person untill right before the pandemic began. It was the very first time we came face to face and got to hug each other’s neck. It was a dream come true for me😁. This lady has showed up in my life in so many ways. Most recently God has allowed her to walk with me through a journey I always wanted to take but never saw it as being possible. I’ve spent the greater part of my life on meds as I’ve worked through a lot of traumatic events from my childhood. Over the last 2 years so many things changed in my life and I knew it was time to come off meds. Please know this might not be for everyone. I’m definitely not against meds but for me, I knew it was time to come off. I told my psychiatrist, my doctor and then Libby who works in the mental health field. I had gotten a new job, I was in a church I was so happy at, my family was supportive, my friends were supportive and I felt it was God’s timing. I no longer take anti depressants nor anxiety meds after over 20 years of it. I take a very low dose sleep aid. I met with her, together worked through other things that needed to be processed and I’m medication free a few months now. She was a part of a support system I used during that transition. Let me say this, if I should ever need to go on meds again, I’m not opposed to it but, I truly believe it is God’s will for me to be medication free . I’m grateful for how God has used her in my life. I’m so thankful for the gift she is to me.

I will be closing this post with this sweet friend Jane DeLong . This is my sister in Christ that I connected with….guess where…..😯🙃🤔……Instagram. God gives the best gifts to us. This is the sweetest friend who will earnestly pray with you and for you. I love her blog Pleasing Aroma Ministries. You will find strength, encouragement in the word and inspiration. I share scriptures with her that I’m studying and she brings clarity and understanding to passages that I don’t see. I love her love for God’s word and her passion to teach it in a way that others learn to love it and understand it. I love that she will offer tools that will help you study God’s word for understanding. She is a true woman of God, who loves like Jesus does. The impact she has made in my life is the encouragement through her love for Jesus word to love it more myself. I have been impacted by her kindness towards me. I’ve been impacted by her sweet check-ins to see how me and my family are. I will be grateful for her friendship💚.

This month and writing these has truly been life changing for me. Every single lady I’ve written about, I truly believe God put them in my life for different reasons but all the same. I know he used them to be his hands and feet in the earth in my life. As I’m walking through some tough days, I needed these reminders of just how bless I truly am. I feel so undeserving of them but I’m so glad God still found me worthy. I have one last group to share over the coming days. I’m so honored for your presence here. This last group I’m excited to share with you is the reason I’m here outside of Jesus. Hang in there we are bringing this series to a end.

The Women Who Care For My Health

So, in this post I’m so excited to honor the women who have cared for my health both physical and mental. I truly believe we cannot be well in one area while allowing the other to suffer. I also believe with my whole heart that physical and mental health works hand in hand. You are only as well mentally as you are physically and vice versa. I learned the importance of taking care of both. I noticed as I became mentally healthy my physical health began to improve….it’s like they compliment each other🙃. As women we are very quick to lay ourselves down for the sake of others. We are very quick to sacrifice our well-being for what may seem like a good cause but at the end of the day we’re suffering inside for it. You are worth fighting for. You are worth thinking about. Please stop making yourself an afterthought in certain situations. It’s ok to think of yourself first. It’s ok to set aside time for you. It’s okay to buy that ice cream that no one else in your house eats, but you😉. It is even okay to take the scenic route home, just because you need time to unwind. So, let’s go with this next group of amazing women that keep me healthy.

First I want to honor this lady right here. Several years ago, I was looking for a new doctor. I went online and began to research doctors in my area. I came across her name and face during my research. I read reviews and decided I would give her a try. I called and sat up the appointment. Now let me tell you, I was afraid because it was something new and that meant I would have to open up to trusting another medical professional again. I sat in the room waiting for her to enter for my very first appointment. Soon in walks Sara Carter Spencer, her smile and kindness was the first thing that put my fears at rest. My heart opened the moment she sat down in a chair and talked with me. Not only did she talk to me, she listened, I mean like truly listened to me. Now more than over 4 years later this woman still sits and listens to me. I love that she allows me to be a part of making decisions concerning my health. She cares about my health both mentally and physically. I love that she will refer me quickly to a specialist if needed to ensure that I receive the best quality of care to keep me well. This lady has impacted my life by restoring my faith in medical professionals. This is what moved me more than anything recently. During the pandemic on one of my visits at the peek of all the racism that was happening in the world, we sat down and had a chat. I shared my fears and concerns and I listened to her feed back. I felt heard and seen by her, it meant so much to me. Dr. Sara is a gift to my life and she has taken care of my physical health and made sure to put me in connection with the right people for my mental health. I will be forever grateful for the gift she is in my life.

Next is this lady right here who has been a gift to my mental health. I made my very first counseling appointment with Meg in 2017. I remember the first time walking into her office, there was this peace that filled me and I knew I was in the right place in that season of my life. Every single week, Meg showed up and she listened and she taught me tools to keep fighting. I was so broken and the mental pain felt like it would take me under. I learned tools to work through triggers from my past. I learned that my story did not have to define me and nor could it rob me of my future unless I allowed it to. Meg helped me believe that I was worthy of good things. She reminded me often that bad things happen to good people but it doesn’t make them bad. Meg asked questions that made me dig deep within places inside of me that needed to be healed. I love that her office was safe for me. It became sort of a sanctuary in that season of my life. I am not sure I would have came through my husband’s surgery 4 years ago without her. I faced so many fears in her office. I let go of pain that I had pushed so far down inside that I thought it would go away. The pain was eating me from the inside out. In session with Meg, I learned that my life was worth living, not just life but the life I had been given was worth living. We have worked through a lot of trauma, I’ve cried many tears in her office and found healing for many wounds. I’m truly grateful for Meg and the years she has walked alongside me in my mental health journey. It takes a village and I’m grateful for this part of my village. If you are struggling find a therapist you can trust and begin to heal. We all deserve medical professionals we can trust and mental health professionals we can heal with.

As a woman I want to encourage you to fight for your physical and mental health. I want you to make it a priority. Fighting will look different for all of us. Don’t be afraid if protecting your mental health might include medicine for a season. It might include regular medical checkups. It might include hard counseling sessions. It might include exercise and eating right. It might include saying no to things that affect your mental health negatively. It might even mean saying no to things and people you love as a way of protecting yourself. I truly believe that you are worthy of being kept safe.

I’ve been so overwhelmed writing each of these, not in a bad way. Just truly overwhelmed with gratitude at the faithfulness of God. Hang in there with me, only a few more left to go. I hope you will take time to tell your medical provider how much you appreciate the care you receive from them. Take a moment in your next session with your therapist to let them know how grateful you are for the care they give you for your mental health. Keep going. You are worth it

Honoring The Gift of Womanhood.

I’ve been taking time this whole month honoring women in my life both young and old for the impact they have been to me. The response to me doing this has been so beautiful. I honestly don’t think we do it enough. Women need to know from other women that they are a gift to them. We need to feel appreciated by one another. When you cheer for other women you are in fact cheering for yourself. When you build up another woman, you are in fact building up your self. When you support other women, you are truly supporting yourself as well. I have tried to make sure and say kind words to other women I pass throughout my day. I try to make sure to give an encouraging word to them when necessary. Some women have no one in their corner and honestly that makes my heart ache. The leaders in my church often say, “You do not have to do life alone, we are here for you”. I truly believe that as women that would be a great life goal to make. Let our goal be that no woman do life alone no matter what their economic status is, race, culture or disability that they have, let’s be women of inclusion. We are not messy but we are strong and inviting💚. So, here we go with this next group of amazing women I’m honoring that have impacted my life.

So kicking off this next series of women who have impacted my life. This super awesome lady right here is Minister Johnsene Barber. We met through church years ago and it has been a tremendous gift in my maturity in the faith. I will tell you this, she is tough, she is committed to seeing you walk out your full purpose in Christ. I always say, “When your ready for true wisdom that will challenge your heart to change, you go see Minister Johnsene”. I truly believe that you have to get it in your heart to bring about true change. This lady will get in there with you and fight against the enemy along with you. I love how she invest in helping you break free from things holding you back from total surrender to God. The biggest thing I think I love most is that every conversation ends with prayer over you and whatever situation your facing. I love that she will quickly tell you that these are my thoughts about it but first she will tell you what the word says about it. I’m grateful for her love towards God that causes her to love his people well. I’ve learned that when we love God most, we’re going to give people the truth of his word even at the cost of relationships. I truly believe she lives what she teaches about. I’m grateful for the Godly impact she makes in my life. I believe in my heart that God winked at me when our lives intersected with one another😉.

So this beautiful young lady is a daughter to me. I did not birth her but, I love her like I did. My daughter and her became friends in church as little girls and they still remain friends today. It was their friendship that caused her mom and I to become very close friends as well. This young woman here is a fighter, she is a hard worker and she loves deeply. I love how she has not allowed things in this world to keep her stagnant but she continues to go after her goals. I love her heart towards celebrating others. I’ve watched her walk through some difficult growing pains and come out better and not bitter. I’m so proud of how she has faced her fears and come through on the other side winning. I will tell you this, she is a planner. This girl right here will plan every single detail of an event and it will be executed in excellence. I’m super proud of the woman she is growing into. The greatest impact she has made in my life is honoring me with the gift of being a second mama to her. I do not take it lightly and I am completely humbled by it.

I’ve had so much fun and shed tears as I’ve thought about how each one of these ladies and the ones to come have impacted my life. I never want to forget how truly bless I feel having them in my life. I want you to know that a lot of these women, I don’t speak to each and everyday but I still love them deeply. Each of them have served different seasons of my life and just because that season had ended doesn’t mean my honor for them has. This brings me to this absolutely beautiful soul right here. Believe it or not, we actually met on Facebook several years ago. God was so sweet to me, in that we have actually had a chance to meet and hug each other’s neck before. I’ve been so inspired and encouraged by this woman right here. I’ve shared a part of my journey with her and found that I’m not alone in my story. Have you ever met a woman and you knew they were a safe space to exhale? Almost like a safe place to land. We all need places we feel safe to tell our story. I’ve found strength in being validated with her. You may laugh at this but this chic will get in your stuff to help you get over your stuff. The baggage you carry, she will help you unpack it and sort through it and pick up things that will only make you better. I love how she loves Jesus. I believe she is truly about helping women heal and be truly free. I know that she will not allow you to let your past rob you of the beautiful plans that God has for you. The impact she made in my life was helping me embrace the beauty of me. I learned to love me, every single part of me. I learned to celebrate myself and not wait for others to do it. I am grateful God let us connect, she is a beautiful gift to my life.

I’m praying for you to be surrounded by women who truly see you and support you. You are loved, you are needed and you are valued💚. I have a few more women to be honor. I am grateful you are here.

International Women’s History Month

So, I’m doing a whole series on women who have impacted my life for better. Last post I introduced you to three very important women in my life. This post, is an introduction to more of those women. I believe that we as women supporting each other empowers all of us to live well and strong. If we can help it, we should never let another woman stand alone. We should always stand with them if possible. We should be women who honor each other in and out of each other’s presence. We are never as powerful standing alone as we are standing together. I hear people talk about how messy women can be and how we don’t support each other. I’ve heard stories of women who have been deeply wounded because they were excluded. Let’s not be that type of woman. When you hear of a woman you know walking through a difficult season, be the first to check in with her. Not because you want the information but because you want her to know that you care and she is not alone. So let’s do this.

So first off, I want to introduce you to this amazing woman right here, Dr. Sylvia Burgess. Our daughters brought us together as sister/friends. We have known each other for over 20 years. We have both stood by each other during some very difficult times. I learned the importance of boundary setting with her. She taught me how to say NO and mean it with zero regrets about it. I’ve learned the value of protecting my safe space. I love how she encourages me to go after my dreams. A few years ago she walked with me and my family through one of the most difficult seasons of our life. She showed up and helped me to get through it. I believe God used her home as a place of refuge and strength for me. I’ve seen her walk through places that should have torn her apart but she came out fighting and winning. I must admit she always challenges me to be everything God created me to be. I know I work her nerves sometimes but she still loves me all the same🤣😜. Honestly I’ve never seen anyone that cheers for others to make it like this woman does. I love that she she is all about seeing those she love walk into a wealthy place. I cry writing this thinking about a season I was deeply struggling with my mental health, between her and my husband, they spoke life over me, she helped to make sure I made counseling appointments, I knew she was a safe space to really check in. I absolutely love her and I’m so grateful for God connecting our hearts and spirits.

Secondly I want to introduce you to this jewel right here, Minister Jackie Wilson. She knew me before I was married and before kids. She came into my life when I was a teenage girl and I needed someone to look up to. I needed someone to help guide me in the right direction. I needed someone to stand with me as I discovered how deep God’s love for me was. I learned that living for Jesus was cool and that it was possible even as a teenager. I trusted her which is really special. It is a honor when a teenager finds you worthy of trust. She always had the right balance of love and discipline. I always knew with her, I was going to get the truth and not the truth that always made me feel good but the truth that challenge me to live better. I remember the long conversations on dating, premarital sex👀, living holy and loving myself. I knew she was praying for me. As a teenager when someone takes time to notice you and invest in you, it makes you feel special. I loved that she actually showed up in my life at a time that God knew I desperately needed an adult I could trust. We have traveled some roads together but we have still remained in each other’s life. I still check in from time still with her and she is still a woman of God and she loves God’s people. I promise you that your going to get the truth when you talk with her. I love how wisdom from God flows through her. She is and will always be a gift to my life.

Last but never least is my friend Mrs. Pam. So, I met Mrs. Pam at the church I attend now. My first time seeing her, she was at the altar, praying over people who walked up and loving on them. I saw the gentleness she treated them with, I saw the kindness in her eyes and the embrace that looked like Jesus was embracing them through her. Several months went by after that moment went by. I ended up joining my very first small group and she was the teacher/small group leader. I remember mustering up the courage to walk through the doors of her home and found that this was the same lady I saw at the altar. The hug I longed for from her, I received it that night. She embraced me physically and she embraced me spiritually. Mrs. Pam began to pour into me spiritually. I was walking through wounds from my old church and I was not trusting of anyone. I had walls around my heart and I decided that NOBODY would hurt me like that again. I loved that she didn’t force her way in but she loved her way in. Day by day God used her to teach me that I could trust again. He taught me that I can feel safe in church again. I believe that wherever you get wounded at that place becomes a place of pain and it then feels unsafe. I also believe that when we find healing in another place(church) that place can feel safe again. I love her for answering ALL of my crazy biblical questions😁🤣. I’m a deep thinker and processor when it comes down to scriptures. I will eternally be grateful for the gift she is to my life. Oh and I’ve learned so much about Greek and Hebrew words and how they can bring clarity of scripture when you understand what they mean. Now, she will get down on me about stuff that needs a stern word but I know it’s because she cares enough to see me do better. My heart is just full of gratitude.

I’m so grateful for the contributions that each woman has made in my life. I am indeed a better me because of them. Stay tuned, I have more amazing women to introduce you to. I hope that this month, you will take time to tell women who have impacted your life how much you appreciate it. I hope you will take time to notice the women around you and cheer for them. Find ways to encourage them, finds ways to support them and help them feel seen. I will keep saying this. The woman on the outside looking in, please make sure to invite her in. Be sure to celebrate each other and more than anything, please pray for women all over the world that they will truly know just how much they are truly loved💚.

International Women’s History Month

First up is my absolutely amazing daughter Jada. She is full of wisdom and courage. I’ve watched her grow into this beautiful young woman both within and out. I love how she set standards for her life and she does not bargain with them. She is sensitive to the voice of God. I love the compassion she shows towards others. She lives what she believes. So many times she has challenged me in a good way to stretch my thinking outside of the box. This daughter of mine helps her mama view things from all angles before I form an opinion. I am so much better having her as a daughter. I love how she studies the word of God. I love her excitement to share with me what God is speaking to her. To be honest, most people think she is quiet and to some degree she is, but once you get her sharing about things important to her, you realize she is not quiet at all. I tell her all the time that she is a quiet storm, you don’t see it coming till it’s there. The impact that she has made in my life is….well she made me a first time mommy. Everything with her was the first time for my husband and I. My daughter has been the example of doing it afraid. In last year, I watched her push pass her fears and go after her goals. She is the epitome of grace and beauty. I watched her learn to cheer for herself and not wait for others to validate her. I love her quiet confidence believing that in Christ the sky is never the limit but definitely pass the stars and moon is a great start💚💚.

This beauty right here is my spiritual daughter Precious, we have been in each other’s life since she was a little girl. We met in church and the bond grew. I’ve watched her grow into this beautiful wife and mama of three handsome young men. We have done a lot of life together. I’ve watched her blossom in her teen years and discover who she really was. I loved watching her discover what a gifted writer she was, which led to the discovering of the amazing spoken word artist that was living within her. She has taught me to love fiercely and have no regrets about it. I love how she continues to challenge me by the life she lives. She has taught me how to truly listen to others and make them feel seen and known. I got a front row seat to watch her fall madly in love with Jesus. I am so proud how she has learned the importance of having boundaries and the necessity in enforcing them. She has impacted my life by the love that she showers on me. I love how she has cheered me on, she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders. I am indeed better, having her in my life. I most recently watched her walk through one of the hardest seasons of her life. I watched her walk through loosing her mom to cancer and the very next year loosing her brother. I saw her lean
into the arms of Jesus for comfort and strength. Grief is powerful and if not faced well it can literally take us out. This beautiful woman is grieving loss with so much strength and courage. I’m grateful for her entrusting me as a spiritual mother.

Last but not least for this post is this sweet lady right here. Erika is one of the leaders in my church. From my very first encounter with her, I felt seen and known. I love how much she absolutely loves Jesus and people. It’s evident in the smile she greets you with or the hug she embraces you in. I truly believe that she loves as Jesus does. There is no judgement in this lady. I feel like you can tell her the worst thing and she never stands in judgement. I know that she still believes that God has a plan for your life. I have many things I love about her. I will share three that are on the tip top of my list. The first one is her pure love for Jesus and how she showers that love all over those she comes in contact with. The second thing is her ability to share the word of God with such and anointing and with clarity. It is evident that she truly spends time in the face of Jesus. I can tell right off when she speaks that she has heard from God, it’s not words that tickle your ears but words that challenge your heart for change. Last but not least…my favorite thing is how she will walk away from the crowd to embrace the one. So many times that has made me feel seen. There are many Sundays that my anxiety is a all out war to enter those doors for church. It feels good when service ends and everybody is heading out and you see her standing with a group but then she walks over to you to greet you. That is one of the greatest investment she has made in my life. I am truly grateful.

So, I have a couple more weeks ahead that I am so excited to share with you women who have invested in my life. I will say this, most of them were honored I wanted to write about them but hesitant to send me a picture👀. I’m praying that we as women will learn to embrace our beauty and live in it. I hope we will learn to include women from all walks of life and from different ages, backgrounds, ethnicity in our circles we run in. Don’t be afraid to leave the crowd to see the one. Make sure that not only do other women feel seen but make sure they feel invited to the table. Add more chairs if needed, shoot get a bigger table so you can invite more women. We are in this together, let’s love well and cheer each other on. I’m super excited to share over the next few days my next group of women.

Father I pray for every woman reading this. I pray that she feels seen, known and loved by you. I thank you for her life. I pray that you will surround her with sisters who love you, so she does not have to do life long. We praise and thank you. Amen

The Dash

This post I have struggled with writing but, I’m going to do my best to put the words that are in my heart here in this space. I want to talk with you about the dash. We are all giving a dash and it begins with the day and year of our birth. This dash is so precious because it is how you live from your birth till your death. What are you doing with the dash you have been giving. Are you living in such a way that will impact the lives of others? Are you doing the things that God created you to do? See the thing is, God gave you this dash of time for a specific reason. When we find out the reason for our birth, the dash of time were given is lived well. At the same time, when we never find out our purpose but we just do a bunch of miscellaneous stuff with our life never really embracing our purpose we waste the dash of time we’ve been given. I pose the thought to you again,”How are you using the dash you’ve been given?”.

“The dash is not just how you live, but it’s who you were too”.
Lora Terry

Who are you? A big factor in living our dash well is being who we are. When we live our authentic self, we use our dash well. God has a plan for who you really are but not for who you pretend to be. We don’t truly know how long our dash will be so each and every day, we should live our dash well. Those things in your heart that you want to do or experience, go after it. Maybe there are words you need to tell those you love, tell them. Maybe there is a phone call you need to make or someone you need to forgive, do it. Don’t waste your dash holding forgiveness in your heart that you need to give to someone. Trust me withholding forgiveness to someone who hurt you doesn’t hurt that person but, it does hurt you. Your dash is not worth it. You need all the time you have been giving to live and not be stagnant holding forgiveness that you know you need to give to someone. Let your dash be all God intended it to be.

Celebrate the dash you have been given.

At the end of your life be sure that you have lived in such a way that your life will be celebrated. You know how you do that? Celebrate your life while you live, it helps others to celebrate it when you are gone. Leave your mark in the earth for good. Leave a legacy that your loved ones will be honored to be a part of. My mom left a legacy of serving Jesus. I’ve lived every day loving and serving my Jesus. Now my children are living a life of serving and loving Jesus. Don’t be afraid to celebrate your life, even if you have to do it for yourself. I hope that you celebrate your accomplishments and find a way to not live in your failures. Did you know that the way you fail at something is a key factor in how you will be successful at it next time. Failure is not the end, oftentimes it is a beautiful new beginning. Live well, live forward, live all in and most of all live the heart of Jesus creation of you.

I will leave you with this to ponder. You have been given this dash, only you can decide how you will live it. What will you do with this beautiful dash you have been given?

God I thank you for every person that will stumble upon this post. I pray that they will know how important the dash they have been given truly is. God help them to seek you about the dash you have given them. You have a complete plan for the dash you gave to us. Help us to surrender our dash to your plans for us. Thank you Jesus for your everlasting love. Amen.