worthiness – Uplift

If I Can Be Honest

I’ve always committed myself from day 1 in this space that I would share my honest struggles as well as victories. I just want you to know that your not alone in your struggles. I had something totally different to write about this time but then this came up. Sometimes I want to wait till I’ve gained victory over particular areas before I share the struggle. I think sometimes we need to share the real, raw intimate details of the struggle right while we’re in it. I’ve been on Instagram a few years now but something I’ve never admitted to is the struggle for others to like my post and especially those who I consider to be friends. I felt like when people hit the like button that it was a form of support. I kind of felt like when they liked it that they believed in me. I’ve just recently been honest with myself about my feelings surrounding this. I’ve been exploring why it was making me feel this way. Personally I feel there is a deeper reason behind our strong feelings concerning certain things. I also believe that those feelings should be explored. . I tend to avoid exploring things that I feel will lead to digging deeper than where I’m ready to go. I finally got brave enough to go there. I want to share something very personal but if sharing it helps anyone it’s worth it.

I realized recently that I’ve been in a real battle with loneliness. Some parts of social media was feeding that feeling. I would look at smiling people with their friends, love ones and my heart felt an ache in it. I saw people in photos doing real life in church community and my heart longed for it. Sometimes I found myself scrolling images of people I know and worship with each Sunday doing life in community and I allowed the lie I was believing to be driven deeper into my heart. Those images were proof that I did not belong, which was the other lie I was believing. I had allowed those lies to some how become attached to my interactions on Instagram. If I sent a Instagram message that people didn’t respond to, I felt rejected. I had no idea because I had experienced so much rejection as a little girl that I had the belief that things that were not even rejection was. Instagram became a unsafe place for me. Honestly Instagram really wasn’t unsafe but because of my struggles and the additional emotional struggle I allowed it to become, it was unsafe for me. I didn’t need anything to add to those feelings. So, I’m on this journey of letting Instagram be what it was created to be. Instagram is a place to keep up with friends and love ones, it’s a place to meet new people, it’s a place you can use as a tool to encourage others. The thing I forgot was that my life is not on Instagram. My life is right in front of me. Even if nobody likes one image, or comment on any post the one who created me loves me unconditional. Those likes don’t add any value to the beauty of who I am, nor can they take any away. The only reason it was causing me not to feel valued was that I was attaching my value to the likes on a post. Now my value is attached to Jesus, the one that created me. I’m so grateful that on or off social media God is always with me. God is faithful and true. I belong to him and he belongs to me. I recently started something that helps me so much with Instagram, keep reading to find out what it is💚.

I knew that I had to make some changes. I knew that I needed boundaries around my time and interactions on social media. I let myself really look at what Instagram had become in my life. I had found myself reaching for it before my bible in the early morning light. I was desperate to see how many likes or comments my post had gotten. I wanted to see if there was a response to my insta message. I knew my desire for Instagram was not in line with God’s desire for me. Before I could let God do a work in my heart surrounding this unhealthy desire I first had to admit that there was work that needed to be done. I surrendered all of it to Jesus. I began to take Instagram off my phone during the week and only using it on the weekend with limited time. The more I practice this new strategy the more I feel freed up to spend time with the one who created me. Many of us will not admit to our addiction to social media. Some of us are addicted and we don’t even know it. We know we feel like we have to log in and we can’t seem to fight the desire to do it till we do it. In my research I found this statement in a article I read that explained what’s happening better than I ever could. The statement is,
“Social media platforms drive surges of dopamine to the brain to keep consumers coming back over and over again. The shares, likes and comments on these platforms trigger the brain’s reward center, resulting in a high similar to the one people feel when gambling or using drugs.”. So we are really struggling with an addiction. It causes anxiety, low self esteem, isolation and decrease in physical activity. Just reading these things from the article made me realize if I continue on social media as I was, I would continue to feel like I was. I had to make a choice and my choice was freedom. I knew my freedom was only going to come from submerging every fiber of my being to Jesus. I needed to choose him first and always. I have seen such a difference over the last few weeks of doing this. I plan to increase my time away this summer to live life more present and in my heavenly father’s presence.

If you are struggling with an addiction to social media on any platform, I want to encourage you to surrender that addiction to Jesus and let him break you free. You don’t have to have an unhealthy addiction to social media, you can be free of it. The first step is admitting to the addiction. As you are honest with yourself, it gives you the courage to let Jesus in to those places that need to be free. Social media will never be able to fill the void in your life, only Jesus can. I am praying for you and walking this journey with you. You are not alone, God sees you and he wants to help, please let him.

Time Away

I was given the gift of time away for my recent birthday. I received a plane ticket to go visit a friend I have never been to see in Kentucky. Let me just say, I’ve never been able to go away like this. I traveled alone and it was glorious. I cannot began to tell you the sweet moments where I knew God saw me and heard the sacred whispers of my heart. There was such a peace of God in her home. I was showered with love from the moment I arrived, till the moment I flew home. I was somewhere where no one needed anything from me. I had the opportunity to just be. As a woman oftentimes we are always doing, being, helping, serving and giving of ourselves. I truly believe we need to take time to lay all of that down and just be. When I say just be, I mean just be still, be quiet and rest. I’m not referring to sleeping, I mean rest. We should rest from the titles, rest from the people that need us and rest from work. Rest automatically invites you into a sacred space of stillness and peace. Shut the voices off that make you feel guilty of it. You are worthy of time away that’s just for you.

The moment to step away will probably never be perfect. It might even be a little messy, but still necessary. Let me say this, it might need to be small baby steps to start with. It might be better to start small and build up to the time away you actually desire. Maybe start taking 4 hours away consistently, then try a whole day, then graduate to one night and continue to build up on it. It should be time that you can just be. A time to rest from all the titles, all the responsibilities and step into a place that is safe to just be. I truly believe this is key to living from a mentally healthy place. This is key to living fully and completely from a healthy place. The time I spent away helped me embrace the beauty in quiet places. I learned to sit in silence and not run from it. Silence has a way of bringing your thoughts about yourself up close and personal. I began to love being alone and enjoying the company of myself and the value of honoring my own thoughts. Time away creates opportunities to dream again, to plan again and to ground ourselves. Sometimes when we’re moving fast constantly it feels hard to find our bearings. When we pull away to focus on ourselves it allows time to process things and sort through everything happening within our world. It helps us to see where boundaries are needed, where we need to let go of things and find a plan to ensure that we make self care a priority. Please note that time away and self care are slightly different. Although time away is a kind of self care it might not happen as consistent as self-care should. You might only get time away once or twice a year. I firmly believe some type of self care should happen every week. In closing I want to challenge you to think about what time away might look like for you. Where would you go? Would you go alone? Write a plan for time away. Include finances to do it, plan for childcare if needed, what you would do, how long you would stay and include transportation to that place and back. I’m super excited at the thought that your even thinking about it.

Thank you for being here. I don’t take it lightly that you would even consider reading my words. I’m truly honored and completely humbled by it. Praying that God will give you provision for time away. If you do, please come back to this post and leave a comment, I would love to hear about it or read about it💚.

The Women Who Care For My Health

So, in this post I’m so excited to honor the women who have cared for my health both physical and mental. I truly believe we cannot be well in one area while allowing the other to suffer. I also believe with my whole heart that physical and mental health works hand in hand. You are only as well mentally as you are physically and vice versa. I learned the importance of taking care of both. I noticed as I became mentally healthy my physical health began to improve….it’s like they compliment each other🙃. As women we are very quick to lay ourselves down for the sake of others. We are very quick to sacrifice our well-being for what may seem like a good cause but at the end of the day we’re suffering inside for it. You are worth fighting for. You are worth thinking about. Please stop making yourself an afterthought in certain situations. It’s ok to think of yourself first. It’s ok to set aside time for you. It’s okay to buy that ice cream that no one else in your house eats, but you😉. It is even okay to take the scenic route home, just because you need time to unwind. So, let’s go with this next group of amazing women that keep me healthy.

First I want to honor this lady right here. Several years ago, I was looking for a new doctor. I went online and began to research doctors in my area. I came across her name and face during my research. I read reviews and decided I would give her a try. I called and sat up the appointment. Now let me tell you, I was afraid because it was something new and that meant I would have to open up to trusting another medical professional again. I sat in the room waiting for her to enter for my very first appointment. Soon in walks Sara Carter Spencer, her smile and kindness was the first thing that put my fears at rest. My heart opened the moment she sat down in a chair and talked with me. Not only did she talk to me, she listened, I mean like truly listened to me. Now more than over 4 years later this woman still sits and listens to me. I love that she allows me to be a part of making decisions concerning my health. She cares about my health both mentally and physically. I love that she will refer me quickly to a specialist if needed to ensure that I receive the best quality of care to keep me well. This lady has impacted my life by restoring my faith in medical professionals. This is what moved me more than anything recently. During the pandemic on one of my visits at the peek of all the racism that was happening in the world, we sat down and had a chat. I shared my fears and concerns and I listened to her feed back. I felt heard and seen by her, it meant so much to me. Dr. Sara is a gift to my life and she has taken care of my physical health and made sure to put me in connection with the right people for my mental health. I will be forever grateful for the gift she is in my life.

Next is this lady right here who has been a gift to my mental health. I made my very first counseling appointment with Meg in 2017. I remember the first time walking into her office, there was this peace that filled me and I knew I was in the right place in that season of my life. Every single week, Meg showed up and she listened and she taught me tools to keep fighting. I was so broken and the mental pain felt like it would take me under. I learned tools to work through triggers from my past. I learned that my story did not have to define me and nor could it rob me of my future unless I allowed it to. Meg helped me believe that I was worthy of good things. She reminded me often that bad things happen to good people but it doesn’t make them bad. Meg asked questions that made me dig deep within places inside of me that needed to be healed. I love that her office was safe for me. It became sort of a sanctuary in that season of my life. I am not sure I would have came through my husband’s surgery 4 years ago without her. I faced so many fears in her office. I let go of pain that I had pushed so far down inside that I thought it would go away. The pain was eating me from the inside out. In session with Meg, I learned that my life was worth living, not just life but the life I had been given was worth living. We have worked through a lot of trauma, I’ve cried many tears in her office and found healing for many wounds. I’m truly grateful for Meg and the years she has walked alongside me in my mental health journey. It takes a village and I’m grateful for this part of my village. If you are struggling find a therapist you can trust and begin to heal. We all deserve medical professionals we can trust and mental health professionals we can heal with.

As a woman I want to encourage you to fight for your physical and mental health. I want you to make it a priority. Fighting will look different for all of us. Don’t be afraid if protecting your mental health might include medicine for a season. It might include regular medical checkups. It might include hard counseling sessions. It might include exercise and eating right. It might include saying no to things that affect your mental health negatively. It might even mean saying no to things and people you love as a way of protecting yourself. I truly believe that you are worthy of being kept safe.

I’ve been so overwhelmed writing each of these, not in a bad way. Just truly overwhelmed with gratitude at the faithfulness of God. Hang in there with me, only a few more left to go. I hope you will take time to tell your medical provider how much you appreciate the care you receive from them. Take a moment in your next session with your therapist to let them know how grateful you are for the care they give you for your mental health. Keep going. You are worth it

Honoring The Gift of Womanhood.

I’ve been taking time this whole month honoring women in my life both young and old for the impact they have been to me. The response to me doing this has been so beautiful. I honestly don’t think we do it enough. Women need to know from other women that they are a gift to them. We need to feel appreciated by one another. When you cheer for other women you are in fact cheering for yourself. When you build up another woman, you are in fact building up your self. When you support other women, you are truly supporting yourself as well. I have tried to make sure and say kind words to other women I pass throughout my day. I try to make sure to give an encouraging word to them when necessary. Some women have no one in their corner and honestly that makes my heart ache. The leaders in my church often say, “You do not have to do life alone, we are here for you”. I truly believe that as women that would be a great life goal to make. Let our goal be that no woman do life alone no matter what their economic status is, race, culture or disability that they have, let’s be women of inclusion. We are not messy but we are strong and inviting💚. So, here we go with this next group of amazing women I’m honoring that have impacted my life.

So kicking off this next series of women who have impacted my life. This super awesome lady right here is Minister Johnsene Barber. We met through church years ago and it has been a tremendous gift in my maturity in the faith. I will tell you this, she is tough, she is committed to seeing you walk out your full purpose in Christ. I always say, “When your ready for true wisdom that will challenge your heart to change, you go see Minister Johnsene”. I truly believe that you have to get it in your heart to bring about true change. This lady will get in there with you and fight against the enemy along with you. I love how she invest in helping you break free from things holding you back from total surrender to God. The biggest thing I think I love most is that every conversation ends with prayer over you and whatever situation your facing. I love that she will quickly tell you that these are my thoughts about it but first she will tell you what the word says about it. I’m grateful for her love towards God that causes her to love his people well. I’ve learned that when we love God most, we’re going to give people the truth of his word even at the cost of relationships. I truly believe she lives what she teaches about. I’m grateful for the Godly impact she makes in my life. I believe in my heart that God winked at me when our lives intersected with one another😉.

So this beautiful young lady is a daughter to me. I did not birth her but, I love her like I did. My daughter and her became friends in church as little girls and they still remain friends today. It was their friendship that caused her mom and I to become very close friends as well. This young woman here is a fighter, she is a hard worker and she loves deeply. I love how she has not allowed things in this world to keep her stagnant but she continues to go after her goals. I love her heart towards celebrating others. I’ve watched her walk through some difficult growing pains and come out better and not bitter. I’m so proud of how she has faced her fears and come through on the other side winning. I will tell you this, she is a planner. This girl right here will plan every single detail of an event and it will be executed in excellence. I’m super proud of the woman she is growing into. The greatest impact she has made in my life is honoring me with the gift of being a second mama to her. I do not take it lightly and I am completely humbled by it.

I’ve had so much fun and shed tears as I’ve thought about how each one of these ladies and the ones to come have impacted my life. I never want to forget how truly bless I feel having them in my life. I want you to know that a lot of these women, I don’t speak to each and everyday but I still love them deeply. Each of them have served different seasons of my life and just because that season had ended doesn’t mean my honor for them has. This brings me to this absolutely beautiful soul right here. Believe it or not, we actually met on Facebook several years ago. God was so sweet to me, in that we have actually had a chance to meet and hug each other’s neck before. I’ve been so inspired and encouraged by this woman right here. I’ve shared a part of my journey with her and found that I’m not alone in my story. Have you ever met a woman and you knew they were a safe space to exhale? Almost like a safe place to land. We all need places we feel safe to tell our story. I’ve found strength in being validated with her. You may laugh at this but this chic will get in your stuff to help you get over your stuff. The baggage you carry, she will help you unpack it and sort through it and pick up things that will only make you better. I love how she loves Jesus. I believe she is truly about helping women heal and be truly free. I know that she will not allow you to let your past rob you of the beautiful plans that God has for you. The impact she made in my life was helping me embrace the beauty of me. I learned to love me, every single part of me. I learned to celebrate myself and not wait for others to do it. I am grateful God let us connect, she is a beautiful gift to my life.

I’m praying for you to be surrounded by women who truly see you and support you. You are loved, you are needed and you are valued💚. I have a few more women to be honor. I am grateful you are here.

When Women Impact Each Other’s Life

In honor of International Women’s History Month, I’m sharing with you women who have impacted my life for good. I want to remind you just how valued your presence is in the earth. We carry a lot of things on our shoulders and in our heart. Today I want to give you permission to take a break from all of it. Today relax your shoulders and rest your mind. I know it’s heavy and you might feel overwhelmed but, don’t quit, just rest and be restored. Our strength amazes me. We carried life inside us. Our bodies were stretched, changed and strengthen. There are some of us who cannot carry a child in our womb, but we find courage to carry a child in our hearts. To me it’s all the same, we still are all mamas. I’m so excited to introduce you to this next group of women and this group is a little different. The first two, we met through Instagram and have never met in person. The impact has been just the same as if we met in person. Social media is not all bad, you can meet some amazing people there. The last one, we met a very special way. Keep reading to find out.

First up is this sweet lady right here, Hillary Grigel. This woman is such an amazing example of living surrendered to God. I saw her a few years ago on someones live sharing her story and began following her. I love her account on Instagram and her Blog. You will find words of wisdom, words of encouragement, and words that will challenge you. You will find out just how deeply God loves you. I’ve felt so encouraged by her. When I share with her, I know it’s taken to God in prayer. She shares scriptures to encourage me. I’ve never felt judged by her words, only the love of God. I recently shared things that I would love for her to cover on her blog, she covered every single topic with scripture support and statics and words of wisdom. Honestly that said a lot about her heart to see people walk in the fullness of God. Hillary continues to reach out and check in to see how I’m doing or how she can pray for me. I’ve learned that God will use anyone to get a message to you. God will use anyone to love on you through. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this woman hears from God. I know her heart is the heart of Jesus. I’m grateful for how God allowed our lives to intersect with one another. She is an amazing woman of God. Be sure to look her up on Instagram @hillarygrigel and give her a follow…you will not regret it.

So my second person I want you to meet is this amazing lady right here, Shannon. Now, let me tell you about this lady and her beautiful heart. I think God put her in my life at just the right time. What I think is so beautiful is that each of these women have impacted my life in different ways and in some of the same ways. Have you ever looked in the face of someone and knew you were looking at someone who truly loves Jesus. That is how you feel when you encounter Shannon. We have chatted very deeply about a lot of things and the wisdom she pours out is straight from the heart of Jesus. It’s evident that she spends time in her word and time talking to Jesus. I love how she gives you scriptures along with ideas to help support you in what you are going through. She reminds me that I’m a daughter of the King and how much he loves me. We all from time to time need to be reminded of that. We need to know that Jesus never forgets us. We need to know that we are never alone. Granted Shannon and I have never met in person but we’ve chatted A LOT on Instagram and she has prayed for me many times. I know she cares about others deeply. I’m honored to know her. I will be forever grateful for the impact she has made in my life. I’m grateful for every prayer, every bit of time she has spent investing in my heart. She is truly a woman of God and I truly believe that she makes God’s heart smile.

Well, this one right here is the last one for this post but not the least. This awesome woman of God, I affectionately nick named Ma B. When I tell you this is a woman of great wisdom, she lives the heart of Jesus in the earth. We met more than 12 years ago. God truly is amazing with causing us to encounter those that are suppose to help us walk through hard seasons. Ma Brenda has a granddaughter that was a baby at the childcare facility that I worked at, years ago. She would come in and out to get her on different days. She was always smiling and so kind to all of us who worked there. In 2010 unexpectedly my mom died. I will never forget her daughter telling me that they were praying for me. Ma Brenda and I began to talk and a beautiful bond was formed. We walked through my loosing my mom together. This woman checked on me, she let me cry in her arms and she prayed for me. Oh my God, she spoke the word of God to me and over me. I loved that she did not let me give up on life after loosing my mom. I loved that she would support me in church events and things that I was doing. I cannot tell you the many times she declared life into me. I still check in with her all these years later. I love that she has not changed from the woman of God she has always been. You are gonna get the word of God no matter what😁💚. Your going to get some wisdom and you might even get some hands laid on you with oil💚. She is the real deal. I’m so grateful for the impact she has and continues to make in my life.

My encouragement to you is pray for God to put strong women in your life. Don’t think that because they are older they won’t understand. Honey these older seasoned women who have not forgotten what God has brought them out of can help you break free. Get in their spaces, ask questions, glean from them. Let me remind you that we’re strong but the older seasoned saints know the way. What good is strength with no direction. My challenge to you is, do something special for the women who have impacted your life. Write them a letter and tell them how God used them to help you. Don’t ever forget that we are stronger together. This isn’t over yet….I have a few more woman I will be sharing with you next week. Keep going, God is madly in love with you.

International Women’s History Month

So, I’m doing a whole series on women who have impacted my life for better. Last post I introduced you to three very important women in my life. This post, is an introduction to more of those women. I believe that we as women supporting each other empowers all of us to live well and strong. If we can help it, we should never let another woman stand alone. We should always stand with them if possible. We should be women who honor each other in and out of each other’s presence. We are never as powerful standing alone as we are standing together. I hear people talk about how messy women can be and how we don’t support each other. I’ve heard stories of women who have been deeply wounded because they were excluded. Let’s not be that type of woman. When you hear of a woman you know walking through a difficult season, be the first to check in with her. Not because you want the information but because you want her to know that you care and she is not alone. So let’s do this.

So first off, I want to introduce you to this amazing woman right here, Dr. Sylvia Burgess. Our daughters brought us together as sister/friends. We have known each other for over 20 years. We have both stood by each other during some very difficult times. I learned the importance of boundary setting with her. She taught me how to say NO and mean it with zero regrets about it. I’ve learned the value of protecting my safe space. I love how she encourages me to go after my dreams. A few years ago she walked with me and my family through one of the most difficult seasons of our life. She showed up and helped me to get through it. I believe God used her home as a place of refuge and strength for me. I’ve seen her walk through places that should have torn her apart but she came out fighting and winning. I must admit she always challenges me to be everything God created me to be. I know I work her nerves sometimes but she still loves me all the same🤣😜. Honestly I’ve never seen anyone that cheers for others to make it like this woman does. I love that she she is all about seeing those she love walk into a wealthy place. I cry writing this thinking about a season I was deeply struggling with my mental health, between her and my husband, they spoke life over me, she helped to make sure I made counseling appointments, I knew she was a safe space to really check in. I absolutely love her and I’m so grateful for God connecting our hearts and spirits.

Secondly I want to introduce you to this jewel right here, Minister Jackie Wilson. She knew me before I was married and before kids. She came into my life when I was a teenage girl and I needed someone to look up to. I needed someone to help guide me in the right direction. I needed someone to stand with me as I discovered how deep God’s love for me was. I learned that living for Jesus was cool and that it was possible even as a teenager. I trusted her which is really special. It is a honor when a teenager finds you worthy of trust. She always had the right balance of love and discipline. I always knew with her, I was going to get the truth and not the truth that always made me feel good but the truth that challenge me to live better. I remember the long conversations on dating, premarital sex👀, living holy and loving myself. I knew she was praying for me. As a teenager when someone takes time to notice you and invest in you, it makes you feel special. I loved that she actually showed up in my life at a time that God knew I desperately needed an adult I could trust. We have traveled some roads together but we have still remained in each other’s life. I still check in from time still with her and she is still a woman of God and she loves God’s people. I promise you that your going to get the truth when you talk with her. I love how wisdom from God flows through her. She is and will always be a gift to my life.

Last but never least is my friend Mrs. Pam. So, I met Mrs. Pam at the church I attend now. My first time seeing her, she was at the altar, praying over people who walked up and loving on them. I saw the gentleness she treated them with, I saw the kindness in her eyes and the embrace that looked like Jesus was embracing them through her. Several months went by after that moment went by. I ended up joining my very first small group and she was the teacher/small group leader. I remember mustering up the courage to walk through the doors of her home and found that this was the same lady I saw at the altar. The hug I longed for from her, I received it that night. She embraced me physically and she embraced me spiritually. Mrs. Pam began to pour into me spiritually. I was walking through wounds from my old church and I was not trusting of anyone. I had walls around my heart and I decided that NOBODY would hurt me like that again. I loved that she didn’t force her way in but she loved her way in. Day by day God used her to teach me that I could trust again. He taught me that I can feel safe in church again. I believe that wherever you get wounded at that place becomes a place of pain and it then feels unsafe. I also believe that when we find healing in another place(church) that place can feel safe again. I love her for answering ALL of my crazy biblical questions😁🤣. I’m a deep thinker and processor when it comes down to scriptures. I will eternally be grateful for the gift she is to my life. Oh and I’ve learned so much about Greek and Hebrew words and how they can bring clarity of scripture when you understand what they mean. Now, she will get down on me about stuff that needs a stern word but I know it’s because she cares enough to see me do better. My heart is just full of gratitude.

I’m so grateful for the contributions that each woman has made in my life. I am indeed a better me because of them. Stay tuned, I have more amazing women to introduce you to. I hope that this month, you will take time to tell women who have impacted your life how much you appreciate it. I hope you will take time to notice the women around you and cheer for them. Find ways to encourage them, finds ways to support them and help them feel seen. I will keep saying this. The woman on the outside looking in, please make sure to invite her in. Be sure to celebrate each other and more than anything, please pray for women all over the world that they will truly know just how much they are truly loved💚.

Worthiness is not Earned

I think at times in our lives, we all struggle with feeling unworthy of good things. I want to pose a question for you to think about,”What is that thing that happened to cause you to feel as if you have to earn your worth?”. You have spent your life trying to earn something that you never had to earn. I know that things can happen to us or we can do things and because of that we believe the lie that were no longer worthy of the good plans God has for us. Let me whisper in your ear, “You were born worthy”. Guess what, not only were you born worthy, nothing you do makes you unworthy. When we struggle with believing that our worthiness is earned, we thrive in the praises from others. We desperately feel like their words validate us. You might not know this but only God created us and I truly believe the one that created us is the one who validates us.

I found myself living in the praises of others. I wanted to feel like I was worthy, and I believed the lie that their words and acceptance of me made me worthy. We don’t have to live up to the standards of others to be worthy. You don’t have to fit into a certain crowd to be worthy. Just maybe the crowd you’re trying to fit yourself in is honestly not worthy of you. Their rejection of you might be the greatest blessing of your life.

Oh, the tears I’ve cried feeling like I didn’t belong in a certain group. I am slowly but surely learning that I will not fit into every space, and that is ok. Every circle is not a circle I have to belong. I want you to know that any group, circle or community you have to change to fit in, YOU do not belong in it. Performing does not make you worthy. The uniqueness that you were created in is what makes you worthy. I believe the courage to walk into spaces and be you makes you worthy. Who you really are is worthy of love, respect, and connection. You deserve all the good things God has for you and you are worthy of each and every one of them.

When I lived with the lie that I had to earn my worthiness, I found myself pretending to be who I thought I needed to be in order to fit in different spaces. What I realized was that I was really miserable when I left those spaces. My anxiety was through the roof and I felt empty. I felt empty because who I really was I was spending unnecessary energy burying as I pretended to be someone I really wasn’t. I could never earn worthiness because what I didn’t know was that worthiness did not need to be earned. No matter how much I tried to be different, that was not making me feel worthy. I believe where I picked up that feeling that I wasn’t worthy was in my childhood. As a little girl, I walked through a lot of trauma and some of the things I endured made me feel unworthy. I didn’t feel worthy of love. I struggled with feeling like I could ever be enough. I had low self-esteem and very little courage. Those childhood experience felt as if they wrote the message of unworthiness on my heart. As an adult I continued to struggle with feeling worthy. I’ve gotten better, but every now and then those feelings of unworthiness try to creep in. I have to immediately remind myself that I was born worthy of every good thing God has for me. I notice that when I forget who I am in Christ, I start feeling unworthy. When we embrace who God made us to be, we embrace the truth that we were born worthy.

¹³For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14 English Standard version (ESV)

Above is one of my favorite passage of scripture. It reminds me that God formed every part of me, even my inward parts. God knitted me and you together in our mothers womb. This helps me rest in the truth that I am worthy. God created and formed every part of me and I am priceless. God formed every part of you and YOU are priceless. Nobody can diminish your worth in Jesus, not any words spoken to you or over you can change the truth that you my friend are worthy. ¹⁰For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 (ESV) you were born according to scripture for good works. To be honest though, those good works did not make you worthy, Christ made you worthy.

This post was to remind you that your worthiness is not earned, but you were worthy from the beginning. You can stop striving for worthiness and start resting in the truth, that you are worthy. I pray that you will embrace this truth and live from the place of worthiness which is where you always belong. Thank you for taking time to read my words. I’m honored and grateful for each of you.