“Physical touch such as holding and rocking are the most effective ways to calm and soothe a distressed baby; repeated experiences of being soothed when distressed attunes the stress-response system and prepares children’s ability to self-regulate and to identify how to calm their strong feelings, like when they are upset”.   So, here we have a quote from an article I found. It is through research that the author of this article writes this information about touch as it relates to the very beginning of life. We see how touch helps calm and soothe a distress infant. As a infant gets repeated experiences with touch that soothe and calms them it helps to develop their stress-response system. This in turn helps prepare children’s ability to regulate themselves and learn to deal with their strong feelings when they become upset. As I was reading a variety of articles I began to think, if touch is that important to the beginning of life, how much more important is it all throughout life. When we don’t receive touch as infants I truly believe we look more outside of ourselves for others to calm or soothe us when we become distressed with life. I’m not saying that is a bad thing but I believe it is important that we know how to soothe and calm ourselves. I think we can live from the place that we can have touch if we desire it but if it’s not available, we can still find the strength and tools within ourselves to get through those challenging times. This is established in us as infants when we receive the touch we need that helps us learn to self soothe.

      We need touch, no matter how much we try to deny our need for it, we need it. We need the comfort it brings. We need the acceptance it bring. We need the feelings of safety it brings. Touch has a way of validating the person’s love for us. It not only connects you to the person, you feel important to them. Safe touches have a way of healing places inside of you. See, I grew up in a home where I was not touched a lot and the touches I did receive were not touches that made me feel safe. As an adult that is my greatest struggle. I give it to others because I want to make sure they feel connected to someone but I struggle with them giving it to me. I didn’t get those soothing touches from my mom as I continued to grow. She gave me the best of what she had the capacity to give. I believe she didn’t get that touch either. As I developed into a young woman, I longed for it. I needed to be mothered to be nurtured. I needed touch . I needed safe touches. This was the tricky part for me, I needed touch but it made me feel uncomfortable and safe all at the same time. I was uncomfortable because safe touches made me feel emotions I wasn’t familiar with but emotions of safety that I needed the experience of. I spent a lot of time struggling with touch even from my husband because I found it difficult to get pass the bad touches I received as a child. As a little girl I believed that even if the touches felt good to start they would lead to something bad. It took a lot of good touches from my husband and counseling to help me to see that all touches don’t always have to lead to bad things. I had to learn that some touches could lead me to safe places with beautiful experiences that I deserved.

I remember being in church as a young girl hearing about the touch of Jesus. I would hear about his loving touch, his healing touch, that seemed to make people whole. I still saw Jesus as just another man and how could his touch make me whole. I wondered even as a young girl, if it was true? Is it possible that one touch from this man name Jesus could make me whole. I grew up in church hearing the stories how Jesus touched those in the bible and healed them. I couldn’t believe that his touch could be so powerful, but it was. It was the touch that began the transformation in my heart. It did not happen over night. It took praying, studying my bible, going to therapy and fighting. It took me fighting to receive good touches. I had to let myself receive the good feelings that came with good touches. Those feelings were ok to experience and they were finally safe. My husbands touches became safe to me. God used his touch through my husband to continue my healing journey. Today do I absolutely love every touch and welcome it? Honestly no, I still struggle with it here and there but I don’t run from the feelings anymore. When I’m struggling with it, I explore the reasons and deal with them. What I do know is that human touch is so important to connecting with others. I love that God created us that way. He created us to need each other. God created us to walk alongside each other. God did not create us to do life alone but to do it together. I hope that you have experienced the true value of what touch is and why God created us to need it and give it. I’m humbled that you are here💚.

Father I thank you for the way you created us. I thank you for how you know us so intimately and you love us unconditionally. You know our thoughts before we even think them. I’m so grateful for your love for us. God you are faithful. I pray that the person reading this has experienced the beauty you intended touch to be. I pray for healing for those who have been touched before time and it has left this hole in their souls. You are the God of healing and I pray that you will touch every place that they are hurting. In Jesus name. Amen