faith – Uplift

Ending Therapy

The beginning of therapy can be as beautiful as this flower. As I look at this flower I think about the seed it use to be, I consider how it must have felt being buried in the cold dark earth where no one could see it. I also think of the process it went through to begin growing in the earth before anyone ever got to see it push through the dark and begin to grow above the dirt. This is how I honestly see therapy. For me, I felt as if I was a small seed with past trauma which was largely affecting my ability to live mentally healthy. I did not even know that within the seed was the flower, it just needed to go through the process to become it. I enter therapy and the therapist steps into the cold dark earth where my pass thought it planted my future. No one really sees at first the process that happens in the earth, which , if you will, is similar to the process I went through in her office. In the earth or dirt of the earth where seeds are planted lies nutrients needed for healthy growth. The flower also needs water. Those within my circle gave me water to grow by encouraging me to keep going to therapy, by telling me how excited they were that I was doing the work in therapy. This caused me to work harder to become well.

I saw this quote and I thought it seemed appropriate to add here. I think because therapist do become someone for clients it becomes difficult to let it go. Honestly not only is it difficult for us, it can be difficult for therapist to let go. How do you not build a closeness with someone that shared the most intimate details of their lives. Often sharing secrets they have never told to anyone. I can only imagine the load that therapist carry. I can only imagine the boundaries it takes to shut it off. Shut out the pain that was released in their office,to shut off the stories that were released and their ears had to hear. The beauty they get to see is when you are ready to let go. To see you move forward using the tools that they poured into you. Tools that will carry you long after you end therapy. I continuously remind myself that God is always with me. God walked with me before therapy, during therapy and even now. Ending Therapy is beautiful and sometimes messy. It’s a funny kind of joy and ache. It feels good to be well, yet scary to be well enough to journey forward without your safe place. You have got this, I have got this, we have got this. Spread your wings and soar beautiful soul. You have God with you. You have the tools you have been taught in therapy and you are so much stronger now.

Lord Jesus I thank you for therapist who help us to live mentally well. I thank you for the wisdom that they have inside us. I thank you for the journey to healing that you walk with us through. I thank you for those beginning therapy that they will find strength, courage, healing and the will to keep going. I pray for those ending Therapy that they will know you are always with them. In Jesus name. Amen

Time Away

I was given the gift of time away for my recent birthday. I received a plane ticket to go visit a friend I have never been to see in Kentucky. Let me just say, I’ve never been able to go away like this. I traveled alone and it was glorious. I cannot began to tell you the sweet moments where I knew God saw me and heard the sacred whispers of my heart. There was such a peace of God in her home. I was showered with love from the moment I arrived, till the moment I flew home. I was somewhere where no one needed anything from me. I had the opportunity to just be. As a woman oftentimes we are always doing, being, helping, serving and giving of ourselves. I truly believe we need to take time to lay all of that down and just be. When I say just be, I mean just be still, be quiet and rest. I’m not referring to sleeping, I mean rest. We should rest from the titles, rest from the people that need us and rest from work. Rest automatically invites you into a sacred space of stillness and peace. Shut the voices off that make you feel guilty of it. You are worthy of time away that’s just for you.

The moment to step away will probably never be perfect. It might even be a little messy, but still necessary. Let me say this, it might need to be small baby steps to start with. It might be better to start small and build up to the time away you actually desire. Maybe start taking 4 hours away consistently, then try a whole day, then graduate to one night and continue to build up on it. It should be time that you can just be. A time to rest from all the titles, all the responsibilities and step into a place that is safe to just be. I truly believe this is key to living from a mentally healthy place. This is key to living fully and completely from a healthy place. The time I spent away helped me embrace the beauty in quiet places. I learned to sit in silence and not run from it. Silence has a way of bringing your thoughts about yourself up close and personal. I began to love being alone and enjoying the company of myself and the value of honoring my own thoughts. Time away creates opportunities to dream again, to plan again and to ground ourselves. Sometimes when we’re moving fast constantly it feels hard to find our bearings. When we pull away to focus on ourselves it allows time to process things and sort through everything happening within our world. It helps us to see where boundaries are needed, where we need to let go of things and find a plan to ensure that we make self care a priority. Please note that time away and self care are slightly different. Although time away is a kind of self care it might not happen as consistent as self-care should. You might only get time away once or twice a year. I firmly believe some type of self care should happen every week. In closing I want to challenge you to think about what time away might look like for you. Where would you go? Would you go alone? Write a plan for time away. Include finances to do it, plan for childcare if needed, what you would do, how long you would stay and include transportation to that place and back. I’m super excited at the thought that your even thinking about it.

Thank you for being here. I don’t take it lightly that you would even consider reading my words. I’m truly honored and completely humbled by it. Praying that God will give you provision for time away. If you do, please come back to this post and leave a comment, I would love to hear about it or read about it💚.

The Longing For A Dad

I’m going to warn you ahead of time that this will be a tough post to read. It will probably be one of the hardest post I will ever write. I want to challenge you to stay here with me. I have found so much healing here in this space through writing. I write from my heart in hopes that it will shine a light into your heart. I’m hoping in my post that you will find the courage to step into the light. Stepping into the light simply means, stepping into the truth. There is light in the truth. There is power in the light of the truth. I am going to share a longing that I’ve had the greater part of my life with you. Writing this post already feels uncomfortable, it feels like I’m being gutted the way we do fish in the cleaning process. I’m going to share my deep ache for a dad. Some of this may be triggering, so please be gentle with yourself. Please know that it’s okay if you need to skip this post until you are ready.

From the earliest time that I can remember my dad was always a man that worked. He went to work no matter the circumstances or weather, he did not miss work. My dad made sure the bills were paid. He loved to cook big dinners and have others brag about how good the food tasted. He was in the home, he provided but I spent my life wondering if he hated me. My dad never used the words he loved me but as I’ve gotten older and matured, I don’t think he knew how. It’s one thing to have a dad who is physically absent, but to have a dad in the home but feel as if he is physically and emotionally absent is a different kind of beast. I think I could deal differently if he wasn’t there. I know my expectations of him would probably be different. I spent my entire childhood dreaming of a father that my dad could never be. I finally realized that it wasn’t because of me, but he just did not have the capacity to give to me what he never received. Honestly my father was a angry child that grew into a angry adult and raised children with all of that anger. I oftentimes wonder what was that thing that made him such a angry person. I wonder what happened in his childhood that he buried and let bitter and anger grow in that space where healing should have taken place. Honestly all I ever wanted to be was daddy’s little girl. I wanted him to see me, I mean like really see me, the little girl that desperately needed him.

This little girl in the picture above is me. When I look at her, my heart aches for her and the mental abuse she lived through. I can remember still to this day, incidents that happened at my father’s hands that should have destroyed me inside. There were times it felt as if it did. My dad was a yeller and a cusser. I remember him calling me and fear would course through my veins. The fear I lived in at my childhood home became anxiety in my adult life. From my earliest memory, I was called all kinds of degrading and derogatory names. The names were names I didn’t even understand the meaning of but yet I felt shame. I didn’t understand that what I was feeling was shame but it was. I was ashame because even as a little girl, I felt that those words were bad. Even as a child, I felt like I was a bad girl. Why would my own father call me names like that unless I was really bad inside. So, I set out on a mission to make myself good inside so that I could finally be worthy of his love.

I look at her and I remember how much I wanted to get the attention of my father. I wanted him to cheer me on when I reached a milestone in my development. I needed him to give me words of affirmation that validated me inside. I spent a lot of years trying to get out of him what I thought I deserved as his daughter. Honestly I thought all little girls deserved to feel safe with their fathers. I thought all little girls deserved affirmations from their fathers. After he died about 3 years ago I realized that a father is not made just because he got a woman pregnant and she gave birth to his child. A father is made by the care he gives to his children. The gift of having a dad in your life is so precious. The way a dad treats his daughter will in some cases help decide the type man she will marry. As a child growing up, I remember reminding myself often, to never marry a man like my father. I did not want my kids growing up in the fear, hatred and anger I grew up in. I’ve wasted a lot of head space trying to figure out why he was the way he was. I have wasted a lot of mental headspace trying to figure out why I couldn’t be the child he loved. The truth is, he loved me the best he could. I truly believe that the way we are loved as a child can sometimes hinder us from loving well as adults if we allow it. I love deeply but with reservations. I love but still struggle with loving completely. Thank God for how he continues to heal my heart.

The picture above is me today. I married an amazing man and he is a wonderful father to our children. I feel like as I’ve watched him father our children, it has healed places in my heart that I thought would never heal. Do I still struggle with not having a good father? Yes their are moments still that I long for that relationship with my father who is no longer here with me. As a matter of fact a few years ago when he died, I remember thinking…all hopes of having a relationship with him died. I think I grieved more for what could never be than for my father. I had to make peace with those dreams of the father I still hoped he could be. I remember sitting at his service and I did not shed one tear. I felt so guilty but I felt nothing on that day. It was just recently that I actually really let myself cry and be sad. I’m still sorting through all of my feelings and strong emotions surrounding his death. The one thing I know is that Jesus will be our father if we let him. I know that we never have to prove our value to him. I’m his daughter who he loves even before he placed me in my mother’s womb. If you are reading this and you are struggling with daddy issues, please know you are still so loved. You are desperately wanted by our heavenly father Jesus. He sees you and he knows the deep ache in your heart to be in relationship with your father. Jesus deepest desire is to be in relationship with you. Jesus desires to hear about your day. Jesus desires to comfort you when your hurting. You do not have to earn his love, it just is. Today may you know the deep, deep love of your heavenly father. May you feel it in those places you are hurting. You my friend can stop striving for his love and begin to thrive in his love.

Heavenly father I pray for the one reading this that might be hurting from daddy issues. God I ask that you would heal their heart. I pray that your love would flood their very being. In Jesus name. Amen

Unconditional

In this post I want to share with you about the word unconditional. When you hear the word, take a moment and think about what it truly means to you. What are the first thoughts that come to your mind. Are there memories attached to what the meaning of that word is to you. Maybe you think about significant people in your life that you believe love you unconditionally. As I was studying and preparing to write this post I did some research on this word and one of the definitions I found was,”Not subject to any conditions”. This is the kind of love we all long for. This is the kind of love we all thrive in. It means we’re safe to be who we are. It means that we are loved and we never have to earn it. It means we can rest in this love. This love is not bargaining with us. We don’t have to perform for it. It just is. This love surrounds us and fills our hearts to overflowing. This is the love that carried Jesus to the cross. Jesus has no regrets about loving us. He definitely is not sitting in heaven thinking, “Look at them, I wish I didn’t love them as much as I do”. I truly believe he looks at us and no matter where we are, he longs for us to experience the in-depth overwhelming beauty and strength found in his unconditional love.

This image may be difficult for you to look at. I completely understand the deep desire to turn away. You might actually feel a little angry at me for sharing it. You might even disagree but I started this blog to share what is true to me. This is unconditional love in a picture. It’s a image created by human hands based upon scripture and the suffering of Jesus on the cross. Oftentimes this image has been used along with others to manipulate others coming to Jesus. I want you to look at this image and behold his unconditional love for you. I want you to behold his sacrifice for your freedom. That means you do not have to live in bondage to anything. Jesus did not die to impress you. Jesus did not die to manipulate you but he died to offer you unconditional love. Did you know that you and every human that ever existed was the joy that was set before him as he endured the cross. I believe that Jesus stayed on the cross because our life was that important to him. I believe our creation mattered that much to him.

It was his love that was the driving force behind his unconditional sacrifice. I cannot think of any greater love than this. The beauty of this love is, you did not do anything to earn it and you cannot do anything to stop it. The love of Jesus reaches us no matter the place, no matter the person, no matter the circumstances or situation, the love of Jesus still reaches us. The thing is though, it is there but you have to allow yourself to let it in. When we have been hurt we tend to struggle with letting ourselves experience the fullness of Jesus love for us. When we have lived a life that we feel ashamed of, we struggle with believing that Jesus or anyone else could truly love us. See, that’s the thing, his love has no conditions. There are no auditions to receive his love. The love of Jesus just is. I’m so grateful he is not looking at all of our sins or looking at all the countless times we have rejected his love, none of that matters to him. Jesus just wants to love you into a real relationship with him. I’m thinking about when I first began to date my husband, the more I talked to him, the more I got to know him, the more I loved him. The more I spent time with him, the more time I wanted to spend with him. The more we fell in love with one another, the more we realized that we wanted to spend our lives together and that led to the covenant of marriage. This is exactly how it feels with the love of Jesus. Will you step into his love this Resurrection season?

So, in my closing I want to share with you how I came to believe in his love for me. I struggled with believing Jesus truly loved me for the greater part of my younger life. I thought that things that happened to me beyond my control left a stain on me. I thought all Jesus saw when he looked at me was that dirty stain and he moved me into the category of people he could no longer love. I thought if I went to church enough, read my Bible enough and did all the right things that I could finally feel his love. Over 20 years ago, I got to go to a huge women’s conference. Everything that happened that weekend was so Jesus could finally help me understand that he has always loved me. From every song and every word spoken that weekend it felt like all the lies about his love for me began to wash away. Even a hotel situation where we had booked rooms and they upgraded us to another hotel that was a five star hotel. I felt like a princess and all along Jesus was in the background pulling all the strings to help me step into his unconditional love. I had been living for Jesus but not living through Jesus. I walked down the isle and gave him my heart but I would not allow his love in because I had believed the lie that I was stained. That night we went to a play and I cried all throughout that play. I had been crying all day as I began to realize Jesus always loved me. I was created because of his love. I remember leaving that play with all those people and I stepped outside and it was raining. As we waited for them to bring the van for us, I began to lift my hands in worship. On that night his love overwhelmed me. I stepped into the rain and began to just rejoice, it didn’t feel like rain, it felt like showers of his love pouring over me. The love I felt that night, I have experienced over and over. I finally stopped believing the lie and started embracing the truth of his love for me. I’ve never struggled with his love for me again. Now the devil has tried to bring it up and tried telling me those lies again and because of the overwhelming love of Jesus I’ve put those lies right back on him💚.

Maybe you have been believing lies about the love of Jesus for you. Maybe you have done things that you feel have separated you from the love of Jesus. I want you to know anything telling you that you don’t deserve his love is a LIAR. Not only are you deserving of his love, you are worthy of his love. This Holiday season, I pray that you experience his love in such a way that you never doubt it again. I pray that his love tares down every wall, every boundary, every lie and it runs into your heart like a huge wave from the sea. I pray he gushes his love all over your life, washing away every mistake and all the regrets. I pray you finally stop fighting his love and just let go. Let him love you dear heart. Let him love you into relationship with him. I’m praying for you. Happy Resurrection Weekend.

Father I pray for the one reading this blog that they will be overwhelmed as they step into a real love relationship with you. Father we thank you for what you did on the cross for us. We thank you for loving us even when we struggle with loving ourselves. God help us to know your love and to shower others with your love. Amen

Women Who Have Impacted My Life

I’ve almost made it to the end. I did not think I could stay focused and keep it going till the very end. As soon as I discovered we would be celebrating women’s History all month long, I decided to honor the women that have been a strategic part of my history and made such an impact on my future. I wanted you to see that age, race, cultural differences nor beliefs should stop us as women from supporting one another. I don’t necessarily have to look like you for you to encourage me. I want to encourage you, when you see women posting accomplishments or struggles be the first one to like or write an encouraging message under the post. It doesn’t matter if you know them there is nothing wrong with supporting them. Honestly, you might just find a sister from another mother😉😁. So let’s keep going, I’m almost done.

So, let me start with this beautiful soul right here, Tabea Oppliger. I am not sure completely how we connected on Instagram but my heart is glad we did. This woman has been a gift to my life. I met her almost 5 years ago. The big thing is, her and her family runs a ministry is what I call it all the way in Israel. I love her heart to bring the broken to Jesus through his love that flows through her. I can say, she loves hard, she sees the ones that most would push to the side, step over or even walk right by. This woman not only sees them but she lets them know that God sees them too. I love her heart for God’s people. The name of their business/ministry is Kite Pride. Tabea along with her husband employ people who are coming out of the sex trade industry. They teach them a trade and they provide a safe space for them to heal. Tabea is such an amazing woman who makes you feel so special. I’ve never chatted and felt less than, each time I’ve been inspired, encouraged and loved on. Honestly though many miles, flights, oceans, hills and valleys sperate us, God still bought our hearts together. Tabea has impacted my life by seeing me, I mean really seeing me. I’ve been reminded of the beauty of me. I’m indeed better having known her. I will be eternally grateful for the beautiful gift that she is to me.

So, I’m so moved to tears sharing with you this gift to my life in the form of Libby Patton. There are so many things I can say about her and her love for people. I know her desire is to see others walk in complete freedom and healing. I met her many years ago when I was on Facebook. We have stayed in contact, checking in with each other and more than anything praying for each other down through the years. We had never met in person untill right before the pandemic began. It was the very first time we came face to face and got to hug each other’s neck. It was a dream come true for me😁. This lady has showed up in my life in so many ways. Most recently God has allowed her to walk with me through a journey I always wanted to take but never saw it as being possible. I’ve spent the greater part of my life on meds as I’ve worked through a lot of traumatic events from my childhood. Over the last 2 years so many things changed in my life and I knew it was time to come off meds. Please know this might not be for everyone. I’m definitely not against meds but for me, I knew it was time to come off. I told my psychiatrist, my doctor and then Libby who works in the mental health field. I had gotten a new job, I was in a church I was so happy at, my family was supportive, my friends were supportive and I felt it was God’s timing. I no longer take anti depressants nor anxiety meds after over 20 years of it. I take a very low dose sleep aid. I met with her, together worked through other things that needed to be processed and I’m medication free a few months now. She was a part of a support system I used during that transition. Let me say this, if I should ever need to go on meds again, I’m not opposed to it but, I truly believe it is God’s will for me to be medication free . I’m grateful for how God has used her in my life. I’m so thankful for the gift she is to me.

I will be closing this post with this sweet friend Jane DeLong . This is my sister in Christ that I connected with….guess where…..😯🙃🤔……Instagram. God gives the best gifts to us. This is the sweetest friend who will earnestly pray with you and for you. I love her blog Pleasing Aroma Ministries. You will find strength, encouragement in the word and inspiration. I share scriptures with her that I’m studying and she brings clarity and understanding to passages that I don’t see. I love her love for God’s word and her passion to teach it in a way that others learn to love it and understand it. I love that she will offer tools that will help you study God’s word for understanding. She is a true woman of God, who loves like Jesus does. The impact she has made in my life is the encouragement through her love for Jesus word to love it more myself. I have been impacted by her kindness towards me. I’ve been impacted by her sweet check-ins to see how me and my family are. I will be grateful for her friendship💚.

This month and writing these has truly been life changing for me. Every single lady I’ve written about, I truly believe God put them in my life for different reasons but all the same. I know he used them to be his hands and feet in the earth in my life. As I’m walking through some tough days, I needed these reminders of just how bless I truly am. I feel so undeserving of them but I’m so glad God still found me worthy. I have one last group to share over the coming days. I’m so honored for your presence here. This last group I’m excited to share with you is the reason I’m here outside of Jesus. Hang in there we are bringing this series to a end.

The Women Who Care For My Health

So, in this post I’m so excited to honor the women who have cared for my health both physical and mental. I truly believe we cannot be well in one area while allowing the other to suffer. I also believe with my whole heart that physical and mental health works hand in hand. You are only as well mentally as you are physically and vice versa. I learned the importance of taking care of both. I noticed as I became mentally healthy my physical health began to improve….it’s like they compliment each other🙃. As women we are very quick to lay ourselves down for the sake of others. We are very quick to sacrifice our well-being for what may seem like a good cause but at the end of the day we’re suffering inside for it. You are worth fighting for. You are worth thinking about. Please stop making yourself an afterthought in certain situations. It’s ok to think of yourself first. It’s ok to set aside time for you. It’s okay to buy that ice cream that no one else in your house eats, but you😉. It is even okay to take the scenic route home, just because you need time to unwind. So, let’s go with this next group of amazing women that keep me healthy.

First I want to honor this lady right here. Several years ago, I was looking for a new doctor. I went online and began to research doctors in my area. I came across her name and face during my research. I read reviews and decided I would give her a try. I called and sat up the appointment. Now let me tell you, I was afraid because it was something new and that meant I would have to open up to trusting another medical professional again. I sat in the room waiting for her to enter for my very first appointment. Soon in walks Sara Carter Spencer, her smile and kindness was the first thing that put my fears at rest. My heart opened the moment she sat down in a chair and talked with me. Not only did she talk to me, she listened, I mean like truly listened to me. Now more than over 4 years later this woman still sits and listens to me. I love that she allows me to be a part of making decisions concerning my health. She cares about my health both mentally and physically. I love that she will refer me quickly to a specialist if needed to ensure that I receive the best quality of care to keep me well. This lady has impacted my life by restoring my faith in medical professionals. This is what moved me more than anything recently. During the pandemic on one of my visits at the peek of all the racism that was happening in the world, we sat down and had a chat. I shared my fears and concerns and I listened to her feed back. I felt heard and seen by her, it meant so much to me. Dr. Sara is a gift to my life and she has taken care of my physical health and made sure to put me in connection with the right people for my mental health. I will be forever grateful for the gift she is in my life.

Next is this lady right here who has been a gift to my mental health. I made my very first counseling appointment with Meg in 2017. I remember the first time walking into her office, there was this peace that filled me and I knew I was in the right place in that season of my life. Every single week, Meg showed up and she listened and she taught me tools to keep fighting. I was so broken and the mental pain felt like it would take me under. I learned tools to work through triggers from my past. I learned that my story did not have to define me and nor could it rob me of my future unless I allowed it to. Meg helped me believe that I was worthy of good things. She reminded me often that bad things happen to good people but it doesn’t make them bad. Meg asked questions that made me dig deep within places inside of me that needed to be healed. I love that her office was safe for me. It became sort of a sanctuary in that season of my life. I am not sure I would have came through my husband’s surgery 4 years ago without her. I faced so many fears in her office. I let go of pain that I had pushed so far down inside that I thought it would go away. The pain was eating me from the inside out. In session with Meg, I learned that my life was worth living, not just life but the life I had been given was worth living. We have worked through a lot of trauma, I’ve cried many tears in her office and found healing for many wounds. I’m truly grateful for Meg and the years she has walked alongside me in my mental health journey. It takes a village and I’m grateful for this part of my village. If you are struggling find a therapist you can trust and begin to heal. We all deserve medical professionals we can trust and mental health professionals we can heal with.

As a woman I want to encourage you to fight for your physical and mental health. I want you to make it a priority. Fighting will look different for all of us. Don’t be afraid if protecting your mental health might include medicine for a season. It might include regular medical checkups. It might include hard counseling sessions. It might include exercise and eating right. It might include saying no to things that affect your mental health negatively. It might even mean saying no to things and people you love as a way of protecting yourself. I truly believe that you are worthy of being kept safe.

I’ve been so overwhelmed writing each of these, not in a bad way. Just truly overwhelmed with gratitude at the faithfulness of God. Hang in there with me, only a few more left to go. I hope you will take time to tell your medical provider how much you appreciate the care you receive from them. Take a moment in your next session with your therapist to let them know how grateful you are for the care they give you for your mental health. Keep going. You are worth it

When Women Impact Each Other’s Life

In honor of International Women’s History Month, I’m sharing with you women who have impacted my life for good. I want to remind you just how valued your presence is in the earth. We carry a lot of things on our shoulders and in our heart. Today I want to give you permission to take a break from all of it. Today relax your shoulders and rest your mind. I know it’s heavy and you might feel overwhelmed but, don’t quit, just rest and be restored. Our strength amazes me. We carried life inside us. Our bodies were stretched, changed and strengthen. There are some of us who cannot carry a child in our womb, but we find courage to carry a child in our hearts. To me it’s all the same, we still are all mamas. I’m so excited to introduce you to this next group of women and this group is a little different. The first two, we met through Instagram and have never met in person. The impact has been just the same as if we met in person. Social media is not all bad, you can meet some amazing people there. The last one, we met a very special way. Keep reading to find out.

First up is this sweet lady right here, Hillary Grigel. This woman is such an amazing example of living surrendered to God. I saw her a few years ago on someones live sharing her story and began following her. I love her account on Instagram and her Blog. You will find words of wisdom, words of encouragement, and words that will challenge you. You will find out just how deeply God loves you. I’ve felt so encouraged by her. When I share with her, I know it’s taken to God in prayer. She shares scriptures to encourage me. I’ve never felt judged by her words, only the love of God. I recently shared things that I would love for her to cover on her blog, she covered every single topic with scripture support and statics and words of wisdom. Honestly that said a lot about her heart to see people walk in the fullness of God. Hillary continues to reach out and check in to see how I’m doing or how she can pray for me. I’ve learned that God will use anyone to get a message to you. God will use anyone to love on you through. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this woman hears from God. I know her heart is the heart of Jesus. I’m grateful for how God allowed our lives to intersect with one another. She is an amazing woman of God. Be sure to look her up on Instagram @hillarygrigel and give her a follow…you will not regret it.

So my second person I want you to meet is this amazing lady right here, Shannon. Now, let me tell you about this lady and her beautiful heart. I think God put her in my life at just the right time. What I think is so beautiful is that each of these women have impacted my life in different ways and in some of the same ways. Have you ever looked in the face of someone and knew you were looking at someone who truly loves Jesus. That is how you feel when you encounter Shannon. We have chatted very deeply about a lot of things and the wisdom she pours out is straight from the heart of Jesus. It’s evident that she spends time in her word and time talking to Jesus. I love how she gives you scriptures along with ideas to help support you in what you are going through. She reminds me that I’m a daughter of the King and how much he loves me. We all from time to time need to be reminded of that. We need to know that Jesus never forgets us. We need to know that we are never alone. Granted Shannon and I have never met in person but we’ve chatted A LOT on Instagram and she has prayed for me many times. I know she cares about others deeply. I’m honored to know her. I will be forever grateful for the impact she has made in my life. I’m grateful for every prayer, every bit of time she has spent investing in my heart. She is truly a woman of God and I truly believe that she makes God’s heart smile.

Well, this one right here is the last one for this post but not the least. This awesome woman of God, I affectionately nick named Ma B. When I tell you this is a woman of great wisdom, she lives the heart of Jesus in the earth. We met more than 12 years ago. God truly is amazing with causing us to encounter those that are suppose to help us walk through hard seasons. Ma Brenda has a granddaughter that was a baby at the childcare facility that I worked at, years ago. She would come in and out to get her on different days. She was always smiling and so kind to all of us who worked there. In 2010 unexpectedly my mom died. I will never forget her daughter telling me that they were praying for me. Ma Brenda and I began to talk and a beautiful bond was formed. We walked through my loosing my mom together. This woman checked on me, she let me cry in her arms and she prayed for me. Oh my God, she spoke the word of God to me and over me. I loved that she did not let me give up on life after loosing my mom. I loved that she would support me in church events and things that I was doing. I cannot tell you the many times she declared life into me. I still check in with her all these years later. I love that she has not changed from the woman of God she has always been. You are gonna get the word of God no matter what😁💚. Your going to get some wisdom and you might even get some hands laid on you with oil💚. She is the real deal. I’m so grateful for the impact she has and continues to make in my life.

My encouragement to you is pray for God to put strong women in your life. Don’t think that because they are older they won’t understand. Honey these older seasoned women who have not forgotten what God has brought them out of can help you break free. Get in their spaces, ask questions, glean from them. Let me remind you that we’re strong but the older seasoned saints know the way. What good is strength with no direction. My challenge to you is, do something special for the women who have impacted your life. Write them a letter and tell them how God used them to help you. Don’t ever forget that we are stronger together. This isn’t over yet….I have a few more woman I will be sharing with you next week. Keep going, God is madly in love with you.

Finish Strong

I am sure you have heard the famous quote” It doesn’t matter how you start, but how you finish”. If I could add a line to that statement today it would be “Your start does not determine your finish”. I think sometimes when we don’t start well, we believe the lie that we cannot finish strong. No matter how you start, I believe that you can still finish strong. In this post, I would like to share with you ways I believe can help you finish strong.

1). In the beginning decide how you want to finish. I truly believe from the start of anything we need to have a vision of how we desire to finish. Once you have that vision, then you know what your end goal is. Nobody can determine how you finish like you can. You are more than likely going to make decisions that help you finish strong. You will keep the end result before you. It will be a reminder of what you are working towards. Your end vision whether you believe this or not will help direct your decisions. If you have a vision of finishing strong in anything you do, you will make decisions that support that vision.

2). Surround yourself with the right people to support you. This can be a biggy. You cannot finish strong if the people in your inner circle are full of negativity. It can be difficult to move forward if the people that surround you are not for you. Sometimes we have people in our lives in places they don’t need to be. The people you seek wisdom from should be people who have earned a place of trust in your heart. The wisdom that people give, should line up with the life they live. To finish strong, surround yourself with people who are living well. People that finish strong are people who live well.

3). The in-between can be hard but beneficial. Before you disagree, let me explain. Most of the time we can get tired in the middle of our journey. The in-between is not where you started and it’s not your finish but your caught in the middle. In this place, people would say focus on your finish. I’m going to say be all there in the middle. Don’t be afraid to look back at where you started and celebrate how far you have come. The middle helps us appreciate how far we have come, and look ahead for how far we need to go. The middle can help us rest a little from our journey, it’s a place to strategize ways to ensure that we finish strong. Don’t despise the middle but celebrate it. Your not where you started, your not where you want to be, but baby you are on your way.

4). Finish I know this one word may sound crazy as a key to finishing strong😁, but this is one powerful word. You need to finish. Don’t give up a long the way. It is fine to pause and rest but just don’t quit. It’s okay to pause and reevaluate but, after you evaluate then keep going. To finish strong, learn from the lessons, look at your failures for what they are but please do not camp out there. Failures are only opportunities to find true success. Out of all the good things you can do in life, the best thing you will do is FINISH.

My whole intentions in writing this post was to encourage you to finish strong. Do not quit in the middle, rest, evaluate and keep going. If you quit in the middle, you will not experience the joy of finishing strong. You were born to win, you were created to finish strong. God’s plans for you are good and not evil, his good plans for you include a strong finish. I know it is difficult and sometimes giving up seems better than continuing to fight forward. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. You can make it through. God is with you and you can finish strong

God I am so grateful for the one reading this tonight. I ask that you continue to give them the strength they need to finish strong. Surround them with people who will speak wisdom into their heart. Help them to stay focused and to not give up in the middle. We’re so grateful for you Jesus. Amen

The Dash

This post I have struggled with writing but, I’m going to do my best to put the words that are in my heart here in this space. I want to talk with you about the dash. We are all giving a dash and it begins with the day and year of our birth. This dash is so precious because it is how you live from your birth till your death. What are you doing with the dash you have been giving. Are you living in such a way that will impact the lives of others? Are you doing the things that God created you to do? See the thing is, God gave you this dash of time for a specific reason. When we find out the reason for our birth, the dash of time were given is lived well. At the same time, when we never find out our purpose but we just do a bunch of miscellaneous stuff with our life never really embracing our purpose we waste the dash of time we’ve been given. I pose the thought to you again,”How are you using the dash you’ve been given?”.

“The dash is not just how you live, but it’s who you were too”.
Lora Terry

Who are you? A big factor in living our dash well is being who we are. When we live our authentic self, we use our dash well. God has a plan for who you really are but not for who you pretend to be. We don’t truly know how long our dash will be so each and every day, we should live our dash well. Those things in your heart that you want to do or experience, go after it. Maybe there are words you need to tell those you love, tell them. Maybe there is a phone call you need to make or someone you need to forgive, do it. Don’t waste your dash holding forgiveness in your heart that you need to give to someone. Trust me withholding forgiveness to someone who hurt you doesn’t hurt that person but, it does hurt you. Your dash is not worth it. You need all the time you have been giving to live and not be stagnant holding forgiveness that you know you need to give to someone. Let your dash be all God intended it to be.

Celebrate the dash you have been given.

At the end of your life be sure that you have lived in such a way that your life will be celebrated. You know how you do that? Celebrate your life while you live, it helps others to celebrate it when you are gone. Leave your mark in the earth for good. Leave a legacy that your loved ones will be honored to be a part of. My mom left a legacy of serving Jesus. I’ve lived every day loving and serving my Jesus. Now my children are living a life of serving and loving Jesus. Don’t be afraid to celebrate your life, even if you have to do it for yourself. I hope that you celebrate your accomplishments and find a way to not live in your failures. Did you know that the way you fail at something is a key factor in how you will be successful at it next time. Failure is not the end, oftentimes it is a beautiful new beginning. Live well, live forward, live all in and most of all live the heart of Jesus creation of you.

I will leave you with this to ponder. You have been given this dash, only you can decide how you will live it. What will you do with this beautiful dash you have been given?

God I thank you for every person that will stumble upon this post. I pray that they will know how important the dash they have been given truly is. God help them to seek you about the dash you have given them. You have a complete plan for the dash you gave to us. Help us to surrender our dash to your plans for us. Thank you Jesus for your everlasting love. Amen.

Worthiness is not Earned

I think at times in our lives, we all struggle with feeling unworthy of good things. I want to pose a question for you to think about,”What is that thing that happened to cause you to feel as if you have to earn your worth?”. You have spent your life trying to earn something that you never had to earn. I know that things can happen to us or we can do things and because of that we believe the lie that were no longer worthy of the good plans God has for us. Let me whisper in your ear, “You were born worthy”. Guess what, not only were you born worthy, nothing you do makes you unworthy. When we struggle with believing that our worthiness is earned, we thrive in the praises from others. We desperately feel like their words validate us. You might not know this but only God created us and I truly believe the one that created us is the one who validates us.

I found myself living in the praises of others. I wanted to feel like I was worthy, and I believed the lie that their words and acceptance of me made me worthy. We don’t have to live up to the standards of others to be worthy. You don’t have to fit into a certain crowd to be worthy. Just maybe the crowd you’re trying to fit yourself in is honestly not worthy of you. Their rejection of you might be the greatest blessing of your life.

Oh, the tears I’ve cried feeling like I didn’t belong in a certain group. I am slowly but surely learning that I will not fit into every space, and that is ok. Every circle is not a circle I have to belong. I want you to know that any group, circle or community you have to change to fit in, YOU do not belong in it. Performing does not make you worthy. The uniqueness that you were created in is what makes you worthy. I believe the courage to walk into spaces and be you makes you worthy. Who you really are is worthy of love, respect, and connection. You deserve all the good things God has for you and you are worthy of each and every one of them.

When I lived with the lie that I had to earn my worthiness, I found myself pretending to be who I thought I needed to be in order to fit in different spaces. What I realized was that I was really miserable when I left those spaces. My anxiety was through the roof and I felt empty. I felt empty because who I really was I was spending unnecessary energy burying as I pretended to be someone I really wasn’t. I could never earn worthiness because what I didn’t know was that worthiness did not need to be earned. No matter how much I tried to be different, that was not making me feel worthy. I believe where I picked up that feeling that I wasn’t worthy was in my childhood. As a little girl, I walked through a lot of trauma and some of the things I endured made me feel unworthy. I didn’t feel worthy of love. I struggled with feeling like I could ever be enough. I had low self-esteem and very little courage. Those childhood experience felt as if they wrote the message of unworthiness on my heart. As an adult I continued to struggle with feeling worthy. I’ve gotten better, but every now and then those feelings of unworthiness try to creep in. I have to immediately remind myself that I was born worthy of every good thing God has for me. I notice that when I forget who I am in Christ, I start feeling unworthy. When we embrace who God made us to be, we embrace the truth that we were born worthy.

¹³For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14 English Standard version (ESV)

Above is one of my favorite passage of scripture. It reminds me that God formed every part of me, even my inward parts. God knitted me and you together in our mothers womb. This helps me rest in the truth that I am worthy. God created and formed every part of me and I am priceless. God formed every part of you and YOU are priceless. Nobody can diminish your worth in Jesus, not any words spoken to you or over you can change the truth that you my friend are worthy. ¹⁰For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 (ESV) you were born according to scripture for good works. To be honest though, those good works did not make you worthy, Christ made you worthy.

This post was to remind you that your worthiness is not earned, but you were worthy from the beginning. You can stop striving for worthiness and start resting in the truth, that you are worthy. I pray that you will embrace this truth and live from the place of worthiness which is where you always belong. Thank you for taking time to read my words. I’m honored and grateful for each of you.