joy – Uplift

Unconditional

In this post I want to share with you about the word unconditional. When you hear the word, take a moment and think about what it truly means to you. What are the first thoughts that come to your mind. Are there memories attached to what the meaning of that word is to you. Maybe you think about significant people in your life that you believe love you unconditionally. As I was studying and preparing to write this post I did some research on this word and one of the definitions I found was,”Not subject to any conditions”. This is the kind of love we all long for. This is the kind of love we all thrive in. It means we’re safe to be who we are. It means that we are loved and we never have to earn it. It means we can rest in this love. This love is not bargaining with us. We don’t have to perform for it. It just is. This love surrounds us and fills our hearts to overflowing. This is the love that carried Jesus to the cross. Jesus has no regrets about loving us. He definitely is not sitting in heaven thinking, “Look at them, I wish I didn’t love them as much as I do”. I truly believe he looks at us and no matter where we are, he longs for us to experience the in-depth overwhelming beauty and strength found in his unconditional love.

This image may be difficult for you to look at. I completely understand the deep desire to turn away. You might actually feel a little angry at me for sharing it. You might even disagree but I started this blog to share what is true to me. This is unconditional love in a picture. It’s a image created by human hands based upon scripture and the suffering of Jesus on the cross. Oftentimes this image has been used along with others to manipulate others coming to Jesus. I want you to look at this image and behold his unconditional love for you. I want you to behold his sacrifice for your freedom. That means you do not have to live in bondage to anything. Jesus did not die to impress you. Jesus did not die to manipulate you but he died to offer you unconditional love. Did you know that you and every human that ever existed was the joy that was set before him as he endured the cross. I believe that Jesus stayed on the cross because our life was that important to him. I believe our creation mattered that much to him.

It was his love that was the driving force behind his unconditional sacrifice. I cannot think of any greater love than this. The beauty of this love is, you did not do anything to earn it and you cannot do anything to stop it. The love of Jesus reaches us no matter the place, no matter the person, no matter the circumstances or situation, the love of Jesus still reaches us. The thing is though, it is there but you have to allow yourself to let it in. When we have been hurt we tend to struggle with letting ourselves experience the fullness of Jesus love for us. When we have lived a life that we feel ashamed of, we struggle with believing that Jesus or anyone else could truly love us. See, that’s the thing, his love has no conditions. There are no auditions to receive his love. The love of Jesus just is. I’m so grateful he is not looking at all of our sins or looking at all the countless times we have rejected his love, none of that matters to him. Jesus just wants to love you into a real relationship with him. I’m thinking about when I first began to date my husband, the more I talked to him, the more I got to know him, the more I loved him. The more I spent time with him, the more time I wanted to spend with him. The more we fell in love with one another, the more we realized that we wanted to spend our lives together and that led to the covenant of marriage. This is exactly how it feels with the love of Jesus. Will you step into his love this Resurrection season?

So, in my closing I want to share with you how I came to believe in his love for me. I struggled with believing Jesus truly loved me for the greater part of my younger life. I thought that things that happened to me beyond my control left a stain on me. I thought all Jesus saw when he looked at me was that dirty stain and he moved me into the category of people he could no longer love. I thought if I went to church enough, read my Bible enough and did all the right things that I could finally feel his love. Over 20 years ago, I got to go to a huge women’s conference. Everything that happened that weekend was so Jesus could finally help me understand that he has always loved me. From every song and every word spoken that weekend it felt like all the lies about his love for me began to wash away. Even a hotel situation where we had booked rooms and they upgraded us to another hotel that was a five star hotel. I felt like a princess and all along Jesus was in the background pulling all the strings to help me step into his unconditional love. I had been living for Jesus but not living through Jesus. I walked down the isle and gave him my heart but I would not allow his love in because I had believed the lie that I was stained. That night we went to a play and I cried all throughout that play. I had been crying all day as I began to realize Jesus always loved me. I was created because of his love. I remember leaving that play with all those people and I stepped outside and it was raining. As we waited for them to bring the van for us, I began to lift my hands in worship. On that night his love overwhelmed me. I stepped into the rain and began to just rejoice, it didn’t feel like rain, it felt like showers of his love pouring over me. The love I felt that night, I have experienced over and over. I finally stopped believing the lie and started embracing the truth of his love for me. I’ve never struggled with his love for me again. Now the devil has tried to bring it up and tried telling me those lies again and because of the overwhelming love of Jesus I’ve put those lies right back on him💚.

Maybe you have been believing lies about the love of Jesus for you. Maybe you have done things that you feel have separated you from the love of Jesus. I want you to know anything telling you that you don’t deserve his love is a LIAR. Not only are you deserving of his love, you are worthy of his love. This Holiday season, I pray that you experience his love in such a way that you never doubt it again. I pray that his love tares down every wall, every boundary, every lie and it runs into your heart like a huge wave from the sea. I pray he gushes his love all over your life, washing away every mistake and all the regrets. I pray you finally stop fighting his love and just let go. Let him love you dear heart. Let him love you into relationship with him. I’m praying for you. Happy Resurrection Weekend.

Father I pray for the one reading this blog that they will be overwhelmed as they step into a real love relationship with you. Father we thank you for what you did on the cross for us. We thank you for loving us even when we struggle with loving ourselves. God help us to know your love and to shower others with your love. Amen

Honoring The Gift of Womanhood.

I’ve been taking time this whole month honoring women in my life both young and old for the impact they have been to me. The response to me doing this has been so beautiful. I honestly don’t think we do it enough. Women need to know from other women that they are a gift to them. We need to feel appreciated by one another. When you cheer for other women you are in fact cheering for yourself. When you build up another woman, you are in fact building up your self. When you support other women, you are truly supporting yourself as well. I have tried to make sure and say kind words to other women I pass throughout my day. I try to make sure to give an encouraging word to them when necessary. Some women have no one in their corner and honestly that makes my heart ache. The leaders in my church often say, “You do not have to do life alone, we are here for you”. I truly believe that as women that would be a great life goal to make. Let our goal be that no woman do life alone no matter what their economic status is, race, culture or disability that they have, let’s be women of inclusion. We are not messy but we are strong and inviting💚. So, here we go with this next group of amazing women I’m honoring that have impacted my life.

So kicking off this next series of women who have impacted my life. This super awesome lady right here is Minister Johnsene Barber. We met through church years ago and it has been a tremendous gift in my maturity in the faith. I will tell you this, she is tough, she is committed to seeing you walk out your full purpose in Christ. I always say, “When your ready for true wisdom that will challenge your heart to change, you go see Minister Johnsene”. I truly believe that you have to get it in your heart to bring about true change. This lady will get in there with you and fight against the enemy along with you. I love how she invest in helping you break free from things holding you back from total surrender to God. The biggest thing I think I love most is that every conversation ends with prayer over you and whatever situation your facing. I love that she will quickly tell you that these are my thoughts about it but first she will tell you what the word says about it. I’m grateful for her love towards God that causes her to love his people well. I’ve learned that when we love God most, we’re going to give people the truth of his word even at the cost of relationships. I truly believe she lives what she teaches about. I’m grateful for the Godly impact she makes in my life. I believe in my heart that God winked at me when our lives intersected with one another😉.

So this beautiful young lady is a daughter to me. I did not birth her but, I love her like I did. My daughter and her became friends in church as little girls and they still remain friends today. It was their friendship that caused her mom and I to become very close friends as well. This young woman here is a fighter, she is a hard worker and she loves deeply. I love how she has not allowed things in this world to keep her stagnant but she continues to go after her goals. I love her heart towards celebrating others. I’ve watched her walk through some difficult growing pains and come out better and not bitter. I’m so proud of how she has faced her fears and come through on the other side winning. I will tell you this, she is a planner. This girl right here will plan every single detail of an event and it will be executed in excellence. I’m super proud of the woman she is growing into. The greatest impact she has made in my life is honoring me with the gift of being a second mama to her. I do not take it lightly and I am completely humbled by it.

I’ve had so much fun and shed tears as I’ve thought about how each one of these ladies and the ones to come have impacted my life. I never want to forget how truly bless I feel having them in my life. I want you to know that a lot of these women, I don’t speak to each and everyday but I still love them deeply. Each of them have served different seasons of my life and just because that season had ended doesn’t mean my honor for them has. This brings me to this absolutely beautiful soul right here. Believe it or not, we actually met on Facebook several years ago. God was so sweet to me, in that we have actually had a chance to meet and hug each other’s neck before. I’ve been so inspired and encouraged by this woman right here. I’ve shared a part of my journey with her and found that I’m not alone in my story. Have you ever met a woman and you knew they were a safe space to exhale? Almost like a safe place to land. We all need places we feel safe to tell our story. I’ve found strength in being validated with her. You may laugh at this but this chic will get in your stuff to help you get over your stuff. The baggage you carry, she will help you unpack it and sort through it and pick up things that will only make you better. I love how she loves Jesus. I believe she is truly about helping women heal and be truly free. I know that she will not allow you to let your past rob you of the beautiful plans that God has for you. The impact she made in my life was helping me embrace the beauty of me. I learned to love me, every single part of me. I learned to celebrate myself and not wait for others to do it. I am grateful God let us connect, she is a beautiful gift to my life.

I’m praying for you to be surrounded by women who truly see you and support you. You are loved, you are needed and you are valued💚. I have a few more women to be honor. I am grateful you are here.

International Women’s History Month

So, I’m doing a whole series on women who have impacted my life for better. Last post I introduced you to three very important women in my life. This post, is an introduction to more of those women. I believe that we as women supporting each other empowers all of us to live well and strong. If we can help it, we should never let another woman stand alone. We should always stand with them if possible. We should be women who honor each other in and out of each other’s presence. We are never as powerful standing alone as we are standing together. I hear people talk about how messy women can be and how we don’t support each other. I’ve heard stories of women who have been deeply wounded because they were excluded. Let’s not be that type of woman. When you hear of a woman you know walking through a difficult season, be the first to check in with her. Not because you want the information but because you want her to know that you care and she is not alone. So let’s do this.

So first off, I want to introduce you to this amazing woman right here, Dr. Sylvia Burgess. Our daughters brought us together as sister/friends. We have known each other for over 20 years. We have both stood by each other during some very difficult times. I learned the importance of boundary setting with her. She taught me how to say NO and mean it with zero regrets about it. I’ve learned the value of protecting my safe space. I love how she encourages me to go after my dreams. A few years ago she walked with me and my family through one of the most difficult seasons of our life. She showed up and helped me to get through it. I believe God used her home as a place of refuge and strength for me. I’ve seen her walk through places that should have torn her apart but she came out fighting and winning. I must admit she always challenges me to be everything God created me to be. I know I work her nerves sometimes but she still loves me all the same🤣😜. Honestly I’ve never seen anyone that cheers for others to make it like this woman does. I love that she she is all about seeing those she love walk into a wealthy place. I cry writing this thinking about a season I was deeply struggling with my mental health, between her and my husband, they spoke life over me, she helped to make sure I made counseling appointments, I knew she was a safe space to really check in. I absolutely love her and I’m so grateful for God connecting our hearts and spirits.

Secondly I want to introduce you to this jewel right here, Minister Jackie Wilson. She knew me before I was married and before kids. She came into my life when I was a teenage girl and I needed someone to look up to. I needed someone to help guide me in the right direction. I needed someone to stand with me as I discovered how deep God’s love for me was. I learned that living for Jesus was cool and that it was possible even as a teenager. I trusted her which is really special. It is a honor when a teenager finds you worthy of trust. She always had the right balance of love and discipline. I always knew with her, I was going to get the truth and not the truth that always made me feel good but the truth that challenge me to live better. I remember the long conversations on dating, premarital sex👀, living holy and loving myself. I knew she was praying for me. As a teenager when someone takes time to notice you and invest in you, it makes you feel special. I loved that she actually showed up in my life at a time that God knew I desperately needed an adult I could trust. We have traveled some roads together but we have still remained in each other’s life. I still check in from time still with her and she is still a woman of God and she loves God’s people. I promise you that your going to get the truth when you talk with her. I love how wisdom from God flows through her. She is and will always be a gift to my life.

Last but never least is my friend Mrs. Pam. So, I met Mrs. Pam at the church I attend now. My first time seeing her, she was at the altar, praying over people who walked up and loving on them. I saw the gentleness she treated them with, I saw the kindness in her eyes and the embrace that looked like Jesus was embracing them through her. Several months went by after that moment went by. I ended up joining my very first small group and she was the teacher/small group leader. I remember mustering up the courage to walk through the doors of her home and found that this was the same lady I saw at the altar. The hug I longed for from her, I received it that night. She embraced me physically and she embraced me spiritually. Mrs. Pam began to pour into me spiritually. I was walking through wounds from my old church and I was not trusting of anyone. I had walls around my heart and I decided that NOBODY would hurt me like that again. I loved that she didn’t force her way in but she loved her way in. Day by day God used her to teach me that I could trust again. He taught me that I can feel safe in church again. I believe that wherever you get wounded at that place becomes a place of pain and it then feels unsafe. I also believe that when we find healing in another place(church) that place can feel safe again. I love her for answering ALL of my crazy biblical questions😁🤣. I’m a deep thinker and processor when it comes down to scriptures. I will eternally be grateful for the gift she is to my life. Oh and I’ve learned so much about Greek and Hebrew words and how they can bring clarity of scripture when you understand what they mean. Now, she will get down on me about stuff that needs a stern word but I know it’s because she cares enough to see me do better. My heart is just full of gratitude.

I’m so grateful for the contributions that each woman has made in my life. I am indeed a better me because of them. Stay tuned, I have more amazing women to introduce you to. I hope that this month, you will take time to tell women who have impacted your life how much you appreciate it. I hope you will take time to notice the women around you and cheer for them. Find ways to encourage them, finds ways to support them and help them feel seen. I will keep saying this. The woman on the outside looking in, please make sure to invite her in. Be sure to celebrate each other and more than anything, please pray for women all over the world that they will truly know just how much they are truly loved💚.

The Dash

This post I have struggled with writing but, I’m going to do my best to put the words that are in my heart here in this space. I want to talk with you about the dash. We are all giving a dash and it begins with the day and year of our birth. This dash is so precious because it is how you live from your birth till your death. What are you doing with the dash you have been giving. Are you living in such a way that will impact the lives of others? Are you doing the things that God created you to do? See the thing is, God gave you this dash of time for a specific reason. When we find out the reason for our birth, the dash of time were given is lived well. At the same time, when we never find out our purpose but we just do a bunch of miscellaneous stuff with our life never really embracing our purpose we waste the dash of time we’ve been given. I pose the thought to you again,”How are you using the dash you’ve been given?”.

“The dash is not just how you live, but it’s who you were too”.
Lora Terry

Who are you? A big factor in living our dash well is being who we are. When we live our authentic self, we use our dash well. God has a plan for who you really are but not for who you pretend to be. We don’t truly know how long our dash will be so each and every day, we should live our dash well. Those things in your heart that you want to do or experience, go after it. Maybe there are words you need to tell those you love, tell them. Maybe there is a phone call you need to make or someone you need to forgive, do it. Don’t waste your dash holding forgiveness in your heart that you need to give to someone. Trust me withholding forgiveness to someone who hurt you doesn’t hurt that person but, it does hurt you. Your dash is not worth it. You need all the time you have been giving to live and not be stagnant holding forgiveness that you know you need to give to someone. Let your dash be all God intended it to be.

Celebrate the dash you have been given.

At the end of your life be sure that you have lived in such a way that your life will be celebrated. You know how you do that? Celebrate your life while you live, it helps others to celebrate it when you are gone. Leave your mark in the earth for good. Leave a legacy that your loved ones will be honored to be a part of. My mom left a legacy of serving Jesus. I’ve lived every day loving and serving my Jesus. Now my children are living a life of serving and loving Jesus. Don’t be afraid to celebrate your life, even if you have to do it for yourself. I hope that you celebrate your accomplishments and find a way to not live in your failures. Did you know that the way you fail at something is a key factor in how you will be successful at it next time. Failure is not the end, oftentimes it is a beautiful new beginning. Live well, live forward, live all in and most of all live the heart of Jesus creation of you.

I will leave you with this to ponder. You have been given this dash, only you can decide how you will live it. What will you do with this beautiful dash you have been given?

God I thank you for every person that will stumble upon this post. I pray that they will know how important the dash they have been given truly is. God help them to seek you about the dash you have given them. You have a complete plan for the dash you gave to us. Help us to surrender our dash to your plans for us. Thank you Jesus for your everlasting love. Amen.

A Few Reminders

1. Choose Jesus more this year.

2. You are always important.

3. Boundaries are healthy and needed.

4. Me time is necessary for your mental health.

5. Stop talking yourself out of good things.

6. You don’t always need to start over, just start again.

7. Be intentional with your time.

8. Be in the moment your in.

9. Everybody has an opinion but every opinion concerning you does not always matter💚.

10. LIVE

Choose Jesus more this year. Oftentimes we can find ourselves choosing everything but Jesus. Choosing Jesus every morning as a way to start your day. Make sure to find a scripture to read and meditate on throughout your day. Invite him in to your day. Spend time in his word and talking to him. We can sometimes make talking to Jesus so complicated and it makes others believe they can’t do it. Prayer is simply just talking to God about anything and everything. He is waiting on you. I know there were times I’ve chosen unimportant things over Jesus but this year my desire is to choose Jesus more.

You are always important. I want you to remember that when making decisions this year. Sometimes we make decisions and we never consider how those decisions will affect us. I know I’ve sacrificed myself a lot in decision making to make sure that others were happy even if I was miserable. So, this year I decided to make sure to consider myself more this year. Some people may see it as selfish but it’s not selfish to think of yourself. I think what is selfish is to think of everyone else and never consider yourself. So this year, please remember that, “you are important too”.

Boundaries are healthy and needed. Boundaries are an excellent way to care for you and your mental health. Boundaries even with the people you love and call family are healthy. Setting a healthy boundary is another way of choosing yourself and making yourself important. A boundary says to others that they will not treat you any kind of way and still have access to you. Boundaries tell others that you love yourself enough to protect yourself from those who don’t know how to treat you well. Trust me practice setting boundaries and enforcing them, you will end a lot of toxic relationships and be bless with healthy ones.

Me time is necessary for your mental health. I did not know how vital me time was to taking care of my mental health. I plan to make more time for it this year. I feel so much better when I take time for myself. The same way we prioritize everything else is the same way we should prioritize time for ourselves. I love going to Barnes and Nobles alone and looking at books, slowly walking the isle just taking my time. I’m on nobody’s schedule but my own. I often will go to the lake and just sit on the peer and dream. It does not matter how you spend it as long as it’s time for you. Do what makes you happy during that time. Learn to be with yourself. Try it and see how much it helps you this year. My desire is at least 3 times a month to do something for me. I hope you will join me.

Stop talking yourself out of good things. This is simple, YOU deserve good things. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of good things because it seems like a risk. Believe it or not something’s that require a risk can still be a good thing for us. So be willing to take a little risk to get to the good things that you so deserve.

You don’t always need to start over, just start again. It can be difficult to start over, and unnecessary too. I truly believe that there are more times than not that we just need to start again. When we start over and go back to the beginning we waste precious time that we could use. When we just start again we honor the work we have already done and we can move further along. Now there might be times that we do need to just start over, but keep in mind that starting over is not so bad, it’s a chance to get it right for you. I just want you to remember this year that starting over is not always the answer, maybe starting again is the better option.

Be intentional with your time. This one speaks for itself. Be mindful how you spend your time. Time is precious so in this new year let’s be more intentional in how we spend our time.

Be in the moment your in. One of my favorite quotes is,”Be where your feet are”. Basically meaning to be in the moment your in. We can find ourselves being physically present but mentally checked out. We can find ourselves being physically present but thinking about all the other things we need to be doing. Let me remind you that we miss precious times with those we love and sometimes we miss important information that we need to hear. To be in the moment means that every bit of your attention is in that moment. It means that mentally you are in that moment that your living right then. Don’t miss precious moments this year, be in the moment your in💚.

Everybody has an opinion, but not every opinion concerning you matters. So this one is my favorite one. It’s true that everyone is entitled to their opinion but it’s not true that you have to navigate your life through their opinions. I know personally what it feels like to live in the opinions of others trying to fit in. I lost who I was and began to feel bitter towards myself. It was exhausting chasing everybody’s opinion concerning my life and decisions. I not only chased their opinions, I then let them dictate my life. I quickly learned that I needed to take back my life. I decided to only invite a little bit of wisdom in from those who had truly invested in my life. The greatest voice in my life today is Jesus and my family including very few friends who are like family to me. You will not believe the peace and confidence I live my life in now💚.

Live. My greatest encouragement for this new year is simply, “live”. It’s one word but it’s one powerful word. Live every moment of your life. When we live our life we find ourselves feeling more stable and at peace with ourselves. Live your life like every moment is precious because honestly, it truly is. Live in a way that your soul feels full and your heart overflows with love to those around you. Take time to do things that fill your soul. Only you know what makes you feel fully alive. Please don’t get caught in a routine living your life. To truly live your life takes away the feeling of just going through the motions. I pray this year brings joy, peace, stability, encouragement and deep love to you. I pray that you take the risk to have the good things waiting for you. I pray that you commit to choosing more of Jesus this year. Thank you for being here. I honor your presence here. If your just stopping by, I hope you will stay a while.
Happy New Year.

To the one hurting during the Holidays

To the one hurting this holiday, I want you to know, I’m thinking of you. I want you to know, I can relate to you. You can have the good things, a beautiful tree, it can be filled with gifts but still feel empty and sad inside. Right now, you might be sitting around family that you love so deeply and still feel all alone. Maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one and tonight you are longing for what never can be again. I understand the longing to hear their voice one more time, to receive a hug or even just to sit in their presence. I have no magical words but I want you to know, I’m thinking of you. I feel you tonight, the one hurting during the holidays. Your pain is just as real as the next person’s. Even though everything is completely amazing in your life right now but your still hurting, I get it. Honestly mental health struggles don’t take a back seat to the holidays. I want you to know that you are not alone in your pain. Physically it might feel like it, mentally it might seem like it but I’m praying that your soul knows that you are never alone.

This is what I’m believing for you and I. Joy is not based upon circumstances to me, joy just bubbles on the inside. Smiling faces are not necessary an indication of joy. I’ve looked in the faces of many people smiling but later found out they were broken and hurting inside. Notice I didn’t choose a picture of a smiling face as a representation of joy but I choose the word. Joy shows up in many different ways. It is an emotion that almost to me feels like peace and love all intertwined together bubbling from our souls. You can have joy even in sad situations. You can have joy even when happiness runs out. Happiness is based upon circumstances or good things happening to us, for us or around us.

So tonight my sweet friends imagine someone reaching out to you, pulling you into peace. Let that peace fill your soul. Let that peace wash over you. Not just peace but love, let love fill your heart and wash over you. Fill it flooding your soul and overwhelming your heart. Now dear heart let joy bubble up within you. Will it change your circumstances for the holidays, probably not but it will certainly give you new perspective. I see you and I’m thinking and praying over you tonight. Merry Christmas dear hearts. May the joy of this season flood you💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️

Lord I thank you for the person reading this right now. God I thank you for comforting their heart right in this moment. Let your unconditional love surround them right now. May they know that you are with them and they are never alone. Thank you God……Amen