“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
I was in a really bad place when this thought filled my mind; ” Step into the safety of the light.’ The sadness felt like a crushing weight on my chest. The thoughts pushed me into a corner. I felt like I was trapped in a dark corner in my mind where no one could reach me and if I be totally honest in that moment, I thought maybe Jesus could not reach me either because I was still there.
During the pandemic my hours on my job changed for a few months so that meant that when I left the house I was leaving in the early morning light of the day. I would leave my house without even a second thought because it was light and I could see clearly. Recently my hours changed back to early mornings and it is still dark when I leave. I hesitate to step into the dark of our carport to get to my car. Even though once I step far enough under it the light comes on, it is those steps I must take in the dark to get to the light that scare me the most. I know I am safe but the dark brings about a level of unsafety that only the light can break. This reminded me of the darkness that depression can bring about. It feels sometimes as if I am stumbling around in the dark trying to feel my way into the light again. The beauty of the light is that Jesus is the light that dismantles any level of darkness. The darkness cannot stand in the light, it has no power over the light. If you notice when you start to struggle the first thing we want to do is isolate and hide in the darkness of our struggles. We would rather keep it a secret until it gets too much for us to carry alone. Now let me say to those who might be reading this who have people you love that struggle; your response to their struggle determines if they will feel safe to share with you. Did you know that we are not looking for answers from you, were not even looking for you to understand because oftentimes we realize that there is just no way you can but we just need you to hear us and see us. Don’t be afraid to ask how you can love us in this place. Don’t be afraid to ask us to tell you what we need if we can. Sometimes we just need you to sit with us. Sometimes we just need you to let us share open, honest and raw from the place we are sitting in without your judgement. Often times those feelings unexpressed become like monsters inside of us with no safe outlet and they push us further and further into the dark corners of our own minds.
Oh beautiful one, there is so much safety in the light that is Jesus. I know it feels so scary to trust that the light is safe when you have been living through the darkness for so long. Sometimes you might even feel like you will never be able to feel the beauty of the light again, but you can and you will. Sometimes that light might look like taking your medication or making a counseling session. Sometimes that light might look like praying for the first time in a long time. Sometimes that light might look like sharing with someone that you feel safe with how you are struggling and letting them walk alongside of you. Whatever that light looks like to you, please know that Jesus is that light. You are safe to step into all that he is. He is good and he is faithful and he loves you so much. His love is wooing you into the beauty of his light. Step into the light beautiful one, you are seen known and loved.
Prayer: Lord Jesus I have lived in the dark with my struggle for so long till the light scares me. Please help me to find the courage to step into the beautiful light of who you are. I need your help and your strength. Please help me to trust the safety of your light. Thank you for loving me. Amen