“You will keep in perfect peace, those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
I went to sleep that night and felt like myself. I closed my eyes and opened them with tears streaming down my face. It seemed as if I could not fight the rush of sadness that surrounded me. I tried to pinpoint what happened while I was sleeping to cause so much sadness. I laid there and the tears soaked my face and the overwhelming sadness flooded me. How do you explain to anyone this deep sadness without a explanation. These days you cannot be sad without a legitimate reason right…. WRONG. Oftentimes the sadness that comes with major depressive disorder comes without an explanation, there is not always a trigger besides the chemicals in your brain. You can walk me down memory lane from the pass few days before the sadness began and still come up empty handed and no reason. It comes without warning and it can be extremely forceful. To be honest when you pair it together with being a believer of Jesus Christ it can feel like a weight of shame. The joy of the Lord should be my strength. So, you ask yourself is it possible to have the joy of the Lord but struggle with major depressive disorder? I believe that joy and happiness are two very different things. I think joy comes from Jesus and it remains in all circumstances and situations but happiness is connected to this world and it changes as circumstances change. So with that knowledge I believe that you can have the joy of the Lord and still struggle with major depressive disorder. The sadness comes from the disorder so why should I attach that to the joy that comes from Jesus. It is the joy of the Lord that keeps me fighting each day. It is the joy of the Lord that keeps me smiling when I feel crushed and broken inside. I am not hiding but I am choosing that what is inside of me will not always control what you see. The other thing that is inside of me is Jesus. So, I began to understand that this war within is A Mind Thing. The chemical imbalance is inside our brain, and our mind and brain work hand in hand. The scripture above says that Jesus will keep in perfect peace those whose minds(thoughts) are steadfast. If we can in that moment of the spiral down think of Jesus not a scripture(it might be too much) but just his name and paint the picture of him right there in that moment the perfect peace already within us will begin to rise up. The peace of God is within us no matter what the lies from depression tell us, the peace of God is there for us to access. Oh how he longs to give it to us when the sadness blinds us to the truth. It might be a mind thing but the more we surrender our minds to God slowly with discipline the mind thing becomes A God Thing.
Prayer: Lord Jesus my mind belongs to you. My thoughts belong to you. When the struggle with depression and anxiety overwhelm me, please help me to remember that if I stay focused on you that you will keep me in perfect peace. Lord Jesus remind me that you are with me and I am never alone. Amen